the missionary pilot's wife

a new chapter

2011-05-21T16:29:00.000-07:00

This blog will now remain dormant.

To follow my life as a stay-at-home-mom, click here.

learnings

2011-03-05T15:42:00.000-08:00

My husband pointed out that I haven't blogged in a long, long time. I only begrudgingly write this post.

Ok, so maybe not begrudgingly, but trust me, I'm not inspired to creative greatness.

I have spent the last months (uh, year and half to be exact) learning how to be a mama. Learning how to sew. Learning how to start over when we moved to a new state. Learning how to be a long-distance friend. Lots of learning.

Thus I find myself sitting on the sofa, watching my sweet angel nap (love the video monitor), surrounded by small mountains of fabric, a pile of sewing books, a husband deep engrossed in Sudoku, and a little guy tap dancing in my tummy. Did I mention I'm pregnant?

I have so, so many sewing projects that I want to do that I hardly know where to start... or have enough fabric. Joanne's is my favorite place lately. Loving those 40% off coupons.

I'm going to make this a brief update, but will try to post more, and as spring approaches (dare I dream?) I even hope to dust off the old Nikon and get my photography going again. Until then, if you need me, I'll be at my sewing machine, or at the little table coloring with a little angel.

24 weeks.

budgeting 100

2010-10-09T13:55:00.000-07:00

Millie is on the debt-free train. :)

Ok, no fluff:

Debt = Bad. Controlling. Stressful.

So why do we have it? Well, some debt is necessary, and "good" debt. Even that debt should be diminished and paid off as quickly as possible, but let's face it - we're not all rich. I'm not. I don't even get a paycheck. My reward for my job comes when my little darling toddles over to me, puckers up, and gently holds her lips to mine for a minute, before pulling away and asking in her eyes, "did I do that right?"

But other debt is bad. You're paying for it. And likely, you feel like no matter what you're paying into it, it's still growing! How do I know? Cause I've been there! Capital One was my best friend when, at 18, they not only sent me my very first credit card, but it had a pretty picture on it that I got to pick out! It had a $500 limit on it, which was quickly reached, and not paid off until I was 21, when it was transferred to another card. I paid interest on that sucker for 7 years.

I've been there. Really. We were thousands in the hole. We were paying each month on just the interest, because the payments were so high, and we couldn't get ahead. Or could we? I've read several books, attended seminars, and taken years of business and accounting classes. I love personal finance. It's scary, and often times hairy, but it is something YOU control, not something that controls you. And I'm going to teach you how to take that control back, then slap debt in the face.

So, let's get down to it:

Laying the foundation for your budget

Step 1: Gather up all of your credit cards. Aren't they pretty? Now, cut their heart out. Seriously, cut them up. Not ready for that? I wasn't either. That will come. But just cause you're not ready doesn't mean you're off the hook. Don't put them back in your wallet. I'm serious on this one.

Step 2: Open up an excel file. Give it a title and save it to your desktop. I don't care how you like things arranged. If you're already neglecting your budget hiding it isn't going to help you. Pet it right on your desktop where you will see it everyday. It will taunt you. It will call out to you. It will make you nervous. As soon as all those scary, controlling thoughts go away, you can put it in whatever file you want to, as long as you remember to visit.

Step 3: Column 1: list all income.

Step 4: (The hairy one) Column 3: List debts. Credit cards, lines of credit, late bills, overdue payments, outstanding parking tickets, whatever. If you owe it, list it. This is one of the more difficult steps. It sucks to look at all that debt. It's discouraging. I know you'd rather shove it all under the sofa or between the mattresses or in the recycle bin... but you will never gain control if you don't step it up and own it. Column 4: minimum payment due, column 5: total amount due, and column 6 is the due date (hint: payments are due on the same day every month. Handy, right?) Save your work.

Step 5: Column 8 (I like to leave a space in between each category, it makes it easier to look and and find things. Are you remembering to title your columns?): List all other monthly expenses like rent or mortgage, phone, cable, power, internet, etc. Anything you pay monthly. List the amount in column 9 and the due date in column 10. (HINT: not sure what to put for fluctuating bills such as electricity? Call your power company and they can tell you the average monthly amount.)

Step 6: Budgetables. In column 12 list things that don't have a set amount, like groceries, gas, money for books, movies (whatever your thing is), eating out, and whatever else you spend your money on. Own up to it. Now is the time to be honest about where your money is going. If you aren't sure what amount to put, take a guess, but make sure it's an honest one. We can change amounts later.

Step 7: Add them all up. LOL, no silly, not you. You're going to make your computer do your work! Skip 3 rows down (so you can add more if you need to) and click in the box directly below each amount column. So for income, monthly and total debts, monthly expenses and bdgetables, you'll go down 3 rows at the bottom of each column and click in the box. Type in: =SUM( then click on the first amount in the column, move your mouse to the bottom right of that box until your cursor turns into a box with 2 arrows, or just 2 arrows, in the corner). This will allow you to click and drag all the way to the box right above where you're putting the total. Once all the boxes are highlighted, close the parentheses with ) and click enter. Your box may be ear marked on the left, and should have a total amount. Do this for each amount column.

Whew. Go get a glass of water if little beads of sweat are forming on your brow. This was a big step. You're owning it! I'd love to say it's all downhill from now, but it's not. It's going to be a bit of a climb before we head down, but the point is, we're on our way. YOU are on your way.

At this point, you may have something that looks like this:

Keep in mind I am working on a Mac, so if you're using a PC it's going to look exactly like this.

In budgeting 101 we will work on building the budget, now that we have the foundation.

During this process, if you have any questions about any of the steps, working in excel, or anything else budget related, please feel free to email me at any time. You can email me at crunchymamacas(at)gmail(dot)com.

they're a comin'

2010-10-08T10:13:00.000-07:00

changes...

...are coming.

(This is at Crater Lake)

It's after 10, and I'm proud to say I've accomplished the following:

-washed 2 loads of laundry

-emptied, reloaded, and ran the dishwasher

-showered myself and a baby

-fed myself and a baby

-changed 2 diapers

-started my blog remodel

-swept the floor

-purchased a small p&s to keep in my bag

-and sorted more laundry to wash

Now, it's time to sit a while.

And read and reflect.

Have some devotional time.

Because there are power in those Words.

And my soul needs nourishment.

What is your favorite way to relax and reflect??

change of address needed

2010-10-08T07:09:00.000-07:00

The problem with this blog is it's title. "The Thoughts and Life of a Missionary Pilot's Wife. The problem? We're, um, not missionaries. Yet. For all of our travels and plans and work, we still have a US address. So, we set a goal and went for it... January, 2011. That was it. The big goal. I can tell you right now, that in January 2011, we will STILL have a US address. While this isn't a bad thing per se, it's cause for a long, drawn-out sigh on occasion. We WANT to have a new address. One that includes which island we're living on.

I've pretty much stopped blogging for 2 reasons: 1 - nobody reads it. Ever. If you are reading it, you're not commenting on it, so I'm assuming you aren't reading it. And, 2 - I think I'm a little hung up on the title. I might actually change it.

Sigh....

real life

2010-08-23T07:56:00.000-07:00

It's not just a dream... things are happening fast to make our upcoming move to Kiribati real!

We just purchased our 20' container. This will be stored in the Portland area until we're ready to ship it. We hope to fill it with all the tools and supplies Todd will need to make the airplane airworthy again, and supplies for our family to live healthy and comfortably (aka a bed, and food, and toilet paper). Once we get the container to Kiribati it will serve as a secure storage and work area for Todd. We are just floored to have our container. It was a huge purchase, and it makes going to Kiribati so real to us, and we hope it makes it real to you also! People have long been asking if they can donate items to the mission, and finally we can say YES! since we now have a place to store those items. We have a list we are keeping updated here. We can issue tax-deductible receipts also, you know, just to sweeten the deal. ;)

We spent this last weekend in Tacoma at our home church. No matter where we go, our Tacoma church will always be our real home church. As soon as we walk in we're with family. It's the most wonderful feeling and I wish I could feel it more often. :) I hope they know how special they are to us.

We left on Friday, when Amelia had 3 teeth. Yesterday, Sunday, she had 5 teeth. She now has 4 on bottom and 1 on top. She's excited to chow down. On anything. :) We spent yesterday at a wave pool in Portland with family. Oh man. Can you say, "FUN!!!?" We had a blast. Millie is a little fishy. Who gives little fishy kisses. Which are always a little wet. She's a good little fishy.

I left my computer power cord at the in-law's house, which means I need to wrap this up, as I'm nearly out of power. Oh man. I have more to say. I'll say it when I get my cord in the mail. :)

that's not for baby

2010-06-08T09:17:00.000-07:00

I find myself saying, close to 100 times a day, "That's not for baby." Wee one crawling + velcro fingers + newfound freedom to explore = "That's not for baby." I don't want her first conversation with me to be "no," so I try not to say "no" much. Instead: "That's not for baby."

What they don't tell you about babies learning how to crawl is they don't really watch where they are going. My wee one is developing a callous on her wee head from bumping into laundry baskets, the sofa, me, walls... And when she does bump into road blocks instead of crying she giggles with the glee of knowing she went all that way all by herself.

All by herself. They also don't tell you that it's a little sad seeing your wee one suddenly not need you. Oh sure, she still needs me for everything else in her world, but this one thing, the first of many strings that must break, is a little painful. Someday all the little strings will break and like a birthday balloon gone awry, she'll float away... But not too far away. And not anytime soon.

So, instead of dwelling on the flight she'll someday take I'm going to celebrate this milestone by putting on my running shoes and seeing where those little hands and knees will take us next. I don't actually own running shoes. Maybe I need some...

Not only do I have a crawler, but I have a NINE-month old crawler. Sigh. 9 whole months. That's longer that she was in my belly (she was in my belly 8 months and 5 days)! 9 months today. Judging how quickly time is going I'd better start thinking about her birthday... and her college graduation. My my how time flies.

small cries and flutter flies

2010-06-06T14:56:00.000-07:00

As I decide to sit and write, a small cry is sounding on the monitor. Soon the whimpers will be accompanied by "mamama, mamama"

So, this update will be short. (Perhaps, Papa has gone for the wee one thus giving me time to update).

In the last week my little angel has really taken flight. Not too long ago little Amelia was, well, little. Now at the ripe old age of nearly 9 months old, she is big. From holding her bottle (the baba) to turning the pages on her favorite books (Flutter Flies and Clifford), she seems to already have the look down that says, "I'll do it Mama, I'm big." In fact, the only time I get to feed her a baba in my lap is in those quiet moments when I feed her one last time before I go to bed and then again in the morning when sleep inhibits those big girl admonitions. Then she is my little baby again.

In such a short time (all within the past week) she has gone from just rolling around to sitting herself up on her own, pulling herself up to stand, and crawling. Everyday I see her confidence grow - with every step and pull and grunt and giggle. The world seems to her a wrapped present that she opens a layer at a time. And of course there are few things in this world more fun to play with than wrapping paper and ribbons.

As her confidence expands so does her vocal cords. My once quiet little girl has exploded with sound - yells, shrieks, laughs, and my personal favorite, "mama."

Of course not all sounds bring warm fuzzies. Some bring raised eyebrows. She is developing this rather unfortunate scream when something she was rather enjoying is taken away, or when she's removed from the plethora of toys in her play area. This too shall pass (I mean, I think it will. Won't it? Oh Lord, please make this pass!). We both learn something new everyday.

I am shamefully behind on my photo blog, but not for lack of trying. As the wee one becomes increasingly mobile, my spare time becomes increasingly diminished. Something about the bookshelves, DVD player and mama's laptop give baby constant motivation to move, go, pull, grab and ultimately, eat.

Well as the wee one finishes up her baba papa is ushering us out the door. Farewell for now.

time

2010-05-24T09:07:00.000-07:00

I don’t blog much anymore. After having Amelia I used the excuse of no time for not blogging, and just about everything else. Srapbooking? No time. Mopping the floors? Shucks, no time. Scrubbing out the toilet? Certainly no time for that. But as my wee one matures to a ripe age of nearly 9 months, I’m finding that, well, I do have time. I have time to sit an blog while wee one feeds herself a bottle, as she is far to old to sit on Mama’s lap still (I’ll do it, Mama). I find time to learn my new sewing machine while she naps.

Sorry for that interruption. I do not, as it turns out, have time to talk to someone as to while I forgot to pay my bill last month. In 4 years this is the first time I ever missed a month. Deal with it. No, I don’t want to pay over the phone. Yes, I already paid it online. Oops, my phone is dying now.

Where was I? Oh yes. Time.

For the first 6 months of my wee one’s life I got in the habit of watching TV. I would watch while I pumped, and while I fed her, and while I folded the daily laundry, and when I ate my meals. Now I’m realizing that although my schedule has changed, my habit hasn’t. I no longer pump. I no longer feed Millie a bottle every 2 hours (and when she does have a baba she feeds herself, because of course, she’s much too old to still sit in Mama’s lap to eat (I’ll do it, Mama). And, she’s stopped spitting up gallons over both of us, so I can now go days without doing a single load of laundry. So why am I still watching TV?

It’s time to reconfigure my daily schedule and priority list. I want to blog again. I want to learn how to use my new sewing machine properly. I want to finish Millie’s baby book I began a year ago. I want to spend more time outside. It was fine to be sitting around all day when I was tied to the pump and the baba, but now we’re free!

The wee one is really free, there she goes, rolling into the hall. I’m going to go chase a baby and there’s a very good chance a game of hide-and-seek will ensue and I’ll forget all about this blog. So, if you don’t hear from me in a while, just assume I haven’t been found yet. Toodaloo.

...and they're off!

2010-05-13T11:51:00.000-07:00

Fundraising letters mailed!

Here's the stats:
100 big envelopes
100 small pre-stamped envelopes
200 stamps
2 ink cartridges
1 little "helper"
7 revisions
5 editors
8 books of stamps purchased
2 trips to the photo printers
3 trips to the post office
12 pages of labels printed
400 pages printed (2 sided = totaled 200 sheets)
4.5 hours of Pandora
2 movies
and a box and a half of fruit snacks to keep me going :D

Kiribati: here we come!!!

up and down

2010-03-28T20:46:00.000-07:00

I threw up.

That might not mean anything to you, but I never throw up. I went an entire pregnancy without throwing up. Now one little bug (it was probably a snotty little one too) gets to me and I throw up. All night long. (I type this and immediately a disco ball drops in my head and music is playing. All night long, all night, all night...) I didn't get a lot of sleep, but I learned a lot. Here it goes:

=Don't wear a hoodie with a draw string when you're sick
=Keep the bucket close
=It doesn't matter how much he loves you; asking the hubs to empty your bucket is asking a lot.
=People (as in, everyone you know) not only will call you, but seem extra chatty when you're sick.
=Chatting is the last thing you feel like doing.
=You only need 3 ringtones: 1 for people you like, 1 for people you don't like, and 1 for people you don't know (and 1 for your mother in law). That cuts down answering the phone 2/3 of the time.
=You don't get sick days when your a mama unless papa (who does get sick days) uses one.
=Don't drink more than 4 sips of water at a time.
=You spend hours lying in bed to miserable to sleep writing (in your brain, of course) deep and moving literature and poetry. You don't remember a word of it in the morning.
=Try the toast first. When that stays down, move on to applesauce. Don't start with frozen strawberries.

For those who know me, or have read me, I'm an insomniac. I do my most, and best, blogging in the middle of the night, but I never take the time to get up. I have this little lie I tell myself that I'm almost asleep. If I do get up I tend to clean or do laundry. Tonight I've taken a friendly little blue pill. It's my happy pill. It helps me sleep, and so tonight, sleep I shall. No midnight blogging. No 2 am laundry. Not even a 4 am snack. From now until morning (with a 2 am feeding for baby thrown in there) I hope to sleep. Sleep. SLEEP!!!

so hip

2010-03-22T09:42:00.000-07:00

Hips. You know, those things you have after your stomach but before your thighs. They swivel and turn and, in the event of getting the male species attention, sway to the beat. A ball and socket. Acetabulum and femur. You know, your acetabulofemoral joint. That is, of course, unless you are me. Hi, I'm odd. Nice to meet you.

I was born with a very common problem, both hips were dislocated. The uncommon part is that no one knew until I was 2 and my mom finally took me to a different doctor. Dr. Simon, I doubt an old man like you would ever read a blog like this, but if you do, I want you to know I'm glad you retired. Because this stinks. By the time I was 2 my hips had already started to harden (did you know that baby's bones stay soft for nearly 2 years? Cool, hua?), and both hips had to be surgically put back into place. Much to the dismay of myself and my parents, the damage was already done.

When I was 10 I had a bone graft. You know the part of your hip that sticks out? The part that keeps your pants up? Well, they cut that off my left hip and melded it (like in canasta) to my hip joint, more specifically onto my acetabulum to reshape the socket. I was in my second body cast (armpit to ankle) - which, as it turns out, is as much fun as it sounds like. I did 5th grade from the hospital in Spokane and then from my bed (which was in the dining room because I couldn't climb stairs).

Almost 20 years (um, insert lower number here) later, here I sit. And sit and sit and sit. I'd like to be, oh, running. Rock climbing. Backpacking. Geocaching. Mountain climbing. I'd even settle for taking a little stroll in the sunshine with my daughter. But no. I'm sitting. And, might I add, in pain. Pain is not new. In fact, I've lived with it my whole life. I think that dealing with this made childbirth a piece of cake. Who needs an epidural when you've got hip pain to take your mind off the fact that a whole little being is making its way out of your body. Sigh.

Around 4 or 5 doctors have recently looked at x-rays of my hips. They all agree I look like I should be in a lot of pain (thank goodness, I'd hate to hurt this much without doctor approval). What they can't agree on, what not even one doctor can tell me, is how to fix it. They look at the pictures and say, "Yep, that's one messed up hip." So what do I do about it? That's when I get that polite and apologetic smile. You know the one. I know the one all to well. The smile that says, "Despite my 12 years learning about hips, and 30 years looking at them, this one stumps me." I hate that smile. I mean, thanks for the sympathy, but I don't want sympathy. I want hips. That work. Without pain.

So, here I am. On the sofa. Baby is waking up and I will have to make the grueling trek all the way back up the stairs. Inevitably I'm going to have to come back down, too. Sigh. Long, long siiigghhhhh.

feature this

2010-03-13T16:00:00.000-08:00

Please note: my blog has a new feature! On the right, just under the photograph of the teeny little toes you will find a photo-link to our official mission website. :D Take a look! The information about us is new and current but the rest of the site is not current, I will be spending the next few weeks working on that. Kiribati, here we come!

travel diaries airplane edition

2010-03-10T20:21:00.000-08:00

Saturday March 6th:
3:30 am alarm goes off
4:30 wake baby up
6:00 flight to Seattle.
7:30 meet transport to friends/church/lunch - baby takes a nap
1:45 running late for 2:30 flight to Walla Walla
2:30 made flight with 3 minutes to spare. Win!
3:30 landed in WW
4:00 napping baby
6:00 family supper
8:00 bedtime!

Sunday March 7th
8:00 late morning start!
9:00 oatmeal breakfast
11:00 running around town
12:30 lunch with daddy and Diane
2:00 baby shower!
3:00 baby poo poo shower... fail!
5:00 friends!
6:00 home just in time for family sups
8:00 bedtime!

Monday March 8th
5:00 wake up call (unsolicited noise)
10:00 visit college
12:00 mom's group
3:00 cousin!
6:00 shopping with Gram
9:00 late night

Tuesday March 9th
5:00 wake up march
9:00 shopping with daddy
12:00 rush home to nap sleeping baby - commence tv watching with daddy
3:00 play time!
4:00 visit with auntie Jessie
5:00 Adina and Melissa
6:30 YMCA to show off babies
7:00 laundry
7:30 Nicky-poo and gram
8:00 commence packing
10:00 bed!

Wednesday March 10th
4:15 baby hungry. feed her and get up
6:00 leave house for airport
6:20 taking weight out of suitcase
6:30 being padded down by airport security
6:35 diaper bag ravaged by airport security
6:50 board plane feeling violated
7:45 in Seattle. walk and walk and keep baby happy
1:00 get boarding pass
1:40 board
2:50 home... well, kind of
4:30 Todd finally picks us up from the airport
4:45 home!
8:20 (now) bed!

I can CIO, can you?

2010-02-28T09:39:00.000-08:00

My darling 5 month-3 week old baby wakes up several times a night for her paci. Last night we decided to break her of that. CIO = cry-it-out. We showed her...

CIO=Sleep...? My CIO sleep journal:

9:10 last feeding, Millie goes to sleep like usual. No problems.
9:30 I finally fall asleep
12:40 "I want my paci" whimpering begins (mostly grunting and whines).
1:00 Finally move from whimpering to crying... kind of. Mills cries once or twice every 20-40 seconds. Um...
1:10 I go in and talk to her, comfort her. She continues to cry sporadically.
1:20 I go and talk to her again. I unswaddle one arm. She returns to whimpering mode and chatters to her hand.
1:35 I give her a bottle. She eats 3 oz and begins play time. I check and change a semi-wet diaper. Play time is on. (I don't encourage).
2:10 Despite those wide-eyes, I swaddler her again and leave the room. Giggling and chatter commence.
2:20 I bring Mills into our bed.
2:25 I return a grunting whining Millie to her bed.
2:30 Nearly 2 hours after this whole thing started, I give the kid the paci.
2:32 Millie is asleep.
2:45 Mama is asleep
5:10 Commence whimpering.
5:13 Replace paci.
5:15 More whimpering.
5:17 Since I clearly am winning (ha ha :/) I stop fighting. Give a bottle.
5:30 Mills back in bed swaddled - no paci
5:32 Commence grunting and whining
5:45 Silence...?
6:00 Mama falls asleep
6:30 Grunting and whimpering on and off for the next hour and a half.
8:00 Mama makes Papa get up with baby.

dem bones

2010-02-26T21:12:00.000-08:00

When I lay down at night my bones turn to sand.
Then as I fall asleep the wind comes in from the dark and blows all the sand away.
While I sleep a new wind comes from the light that's about to dawn,
And brings with it sand that builds new bones in me.
It is a painful process sometimes.
But oh, how sleep can replenish me.
And calm my spirit.
And restore my mind.
Someday I will have new bones that are good.
They won't blow away at night.
Or hurt.
How good it will be.

10 months and 4 days

2010-02-24T11:53:00.000-08:00

Our plans for returning to the Republic of Kiribati are underway. We hope to be settled by next January. Next january is 10 months and 4 days away. I love my life. I can't wait to be settled... I'm going to get a dog! LOL. While my little island mutt will undoubtedly be smaller and most likely less intelligent than our beloved Great Dane Alex (2001-2006) I am excited nonetheless to have a dog again.
I am nearing the completion of the rough draft of our fund raising letter/packet. And we are starting to collect needed items for our first year abroad. Kiribati: here we come!

berry this

2010-02-23T13:57:00.000-08:00

I've spent the past 2 days lolly gagging around as if I were sick. Oh wait... So, I'm sick. And, what no one tells you before you have a baby is that babies are unsympathetic about your feelings. Or your nausea. In my case, I have a UTI (I get sick when I get them, ugh), which means frequent trips to the bathroom. My child is not impressed by this. Nor does she appreciate me wanting to lay in bed and watch movies all day. So, we play. Rather she plays and I lay on the floor next to her. She's just happy to have mama on one side and her glow worm on the other.

In 6 days we will finally get our insurance. Hopefully I can hold off that long. I know, I know... "you need to see a doctor" well, the world just doesn't always work like that. Like the time I got really sick in Zimbabwe. Boy, if I can survive that (they said I had malaria and treated me for it, I got better, was it malaria? The world may never know) - I can survive anything. Especially a little UTI. And if I look at one more craisin or glass of cranberry juice I'm going to throw up cranberries. Not to mention the cranberry supplements I'm taking like they're going out of style.

On to news of baby, this little worm has wiggled her way into big-girldom, just about. It seems all at once she's doing so much. She can sit up, and moments later fall over. Champion. She can air-kiss a "muhhaah" (without the sound) and blow spit. Genius. She can also mimic us when we're feeding her and we open our mouth and go "aaaahh." She opens her mouth as wide as she can and sticks her tongue out. Amazing! Sometimes she seems so big I forget how little she once was. Then I think about how big she's going to get and I feel a little dizzy. So big, so fast. If life had a remote-controller I would hit pause. Every once in a while I'd rewind, just to remember where I've been.

With being sick and uncomfortable, I haven't really been doing... well... anything. At all. Unless napping counts as something. I've been making sure baby and mama are fed and clean(ish) and calling it good. Todd has been a real pal helping me out. He washed diapers for me yesterday. The champion of all champions. He's run to the store for me several times, bathed baby, let me go to bed early, and made chocolate cake. Score! If only I were alive to enjoy it...

free me

2010-02-19T18:16:00.000-08:00

I found this great website, Deal Seeking Mom, which lead me to a few other little gems:

Free photobook (shipping free too!)

The Freebie Blogger blog

The Frugal Girls blog

The It's all Free Online blog

The Free Best Deals blog

The Business-Minded Mom blog

Free Stayfree pads

The Frugal Bug

The Freebies for Mom blog

The Wicked Cool Deals blog

Yet another one, the Alaska and Hawaii Coupon Diva blog (online too, not just in AK and HI)

The Savvy Mom Finds blog

Cheap magazine subscription here

Happy coupon/bargain/freebie hunting!

souper saver?

2010-02-14T14:32:00.000-08:00

I have several coupon for soup we don't usually eat...

Well, this was my first week of coupon clipping and bargain hunting. Sign up for GroceryGame.com: check! Get Sunday paper and clip coupons: check! Scour the internet for printable coupons: check! Get coupons all organized in new handy-dandy coupon organizer: check! Shop and get great deals: fail! I am quickly learning that the hard part - the REALLY hard part - is finding coupons for things that we, um, actually use. Coupons for a dollar off salad dressing are nice, if you need salad dressing.

Also, why are all the coupons for prepackaged processed foods? Where are the coupons for fruits and vegetables and whole grain foods? While I'll be the first to the dessert table, 12 coupons for brownie and cookie mixes aren't really what this family needs. What I want are coupons for environmentally friendly cleaning products and natural personal products.

On we go on this quest to be a saver of money and the environment. (When I told my dad I was looking at a Subaru Forester he said, "what are you, a tree hugger?" I'm trying!)

Here is another bargain blog I found, feel free to share more!

a saver and a shaker

2010-02-11T15:47:00.001-08:00

I'm on a mission to save money! And Energy! And my mental health! And I'd like to share my journey and my tips I learn along the way.

Next week will be week 1 of doing The Grocery Game, I'm excited to start.

I've also come across this coupon site.

Also, I've learned that you can upload electronic store coupons directly to your Safeway card.

Here is another blog about saving money.

My friend Erin also has some great money and energy saving ideas. :)

If you have more to add, please do! I'm a beginner in the world of frugality. My journey begins right now!

plans

2010-02-09T12:25:00.000-08:00

My little baby is 5 months old. Everybody says they grow too fast, and it's the truth. My plan for after nap time is to make my first baby foods. We'll see how that goes. I've been trying to do it for a couple of days and just can't seem to get in the kitchen. Today is the day! (I think.)

Last night we met with a case worker for more information on adoption. We had a ton of questions and we weren't sure if we'd walk away as "about-to-adopt parents" or "not going to adopt" parents. I think we're more "might adopt" parents at this point. I will admit, I love the thought of adopting and had high hopes, but meeting with the case worker set my feet back on the ground. It's a lot of hard work, and there are no guarantees. If we are to proceed we'll be looking for 2-4 year old boy. I would love to hear any thought you have on adoption.

Aside from all the other hurdles to jump with adoption, we would need it to happen rather quickly, as we are nearing some goals that will take us to our ultimate goal, which is to be in the Kiribati in less than a year from now. We're looking at January of next year. Yet another task that will be a lot of hard work, but ultimately very well worth it in the end. We have our tickets covered already, so now we need to work on funding to build a home, shipping a container and a few projects to work on our first year out there.

Other plans in the works are for me to stop pumping by the time Millie is 6 months (less than a month away!). At that point we will switch to formula full time, she gets formula only at night now, along with solid foods. I am very excited about the not pumping part.

I have missed only one day on my 365 day photo project. I think it was day 33 or something. Fail. I'm excited for the end of the year when I have all my photos and I'm going to put them in a book. It will be neat to look back over the year and see the things that we did and saw and grew from.

beauty and the bachelor

2010-02-05T07:54:00.000-08:00

I have a beautiful baby. Her smile, her giggle, even her cries. Beautiful. She cries when she wakes up, and then she finds me standing over her crib and softly begins chattering all about her nightly adventures in her dreams. My heart swoons. There are moments throughout the day that melts me into a buttery substance.

Papa put her to bed last night. Perfectly centered and horizontal in her crib. 30 minutes later I checked on her, perfectly centered and vertical in her crib. Papa says baby is as wiggly in her sleep as Mama is.

This photo, although it looks like I tried dressing her up like a boy, is my little girl in the airplane onsie her papa got her. She also has a little bib that says "Pilot in training." Papa can't wait to teach his girl how to fly. >

With Millie growing at hitting milestones and changing so much every day it's easy to get caught up in her and nothing else. It's time to find balance in my life and reclaim some sort of personal identity. While I'm not sure how exactly to accomplish either one of of these, they are on my to-do list. I began yesterday by cooking and cleaning. #3 on my identity description: housewife. #1 is being Mama. #2 would be Todd's wife. #4 might be something like: closet cheesy TV watcher. I've recently fallen victim to "The Bachelor." In my defense I spend copious amounts of my day pumping, and if I don't watch something I'll go crazy. #5 would be friend to... some. Not many. I recently deleted nearly half of my "friends" on facebook. I don't use FB as a "social networking" site, I use it as a place to connect with friends and family. Nearly all of my family is now on FB and all my friends are, so I tend to get rather personal in what I post. Not something I want people who aren't my friends reading, so, if we're not real-life friends, I deleted you. Yikes, that sounds harshly rude. Eh, such is life I guess.

I recently came across another blog by a mother. It took my heart and broke it apart and then melted it back together (it's been a sticky morning). It's from a mother who recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl with Down's Syndrome. The attitude of this mother is absolutely breathtaking. I can't imagine all the anticipation of giving birth only to find your child isn't perfectly healthy. It makes me realize very rawly how very blessed we are to have such a healthy, happy little baby. My heart just reaches out to embrace this mother. If you are interested, and I highly recommend it, take a moment and read a bit of her blog. It will take you on a journey.

And now, my own little angel is about to add color to my day as she begins her "waking up wiggles." Soon my ears will be filled with the beautiful sound of the thoughts and dreams of my almost 5 month old baby. 5 months. 5 very long and very short months.

mama stats

2010-02-03T18:53:00.000-08:00

Let me fill you in on life with a very soon to be 5-month old:

I get up no less than 3 times per night (it's often 4, can be more) to feed baby and another 3-20 times to give baby a pacifier to hold off feeding (trying to teach her she can go more than 2.5-3 hours between bottles at night).

I am thrown up on an average of 6 times per day. I change about 2 times, so most of the day I'm walking around with baby spit up on some part of my clothing or body.

I pump now 5 times per day, trying to go to 4 times. That's 20 minutes for pumping and then 3 for cleaning the pump.

I prepare 25-30 ounces of milk or formula everyday.

That's roughly 8 or 9 bottles in a 24-hour period. Every 2 hours in the day.

I put baby down for 3-4 naps daily.

I change an average of 8 diapers per day.

I go to bed at 9:30 most nights. Up at 11, 1, 4, 7 and I'm out of bed (usually) around 8:30. Each time I get up it takes about 30 minutes to feed baby, 30 more to pump (usually at 4) and an hour to fall back asleep. You do the math (I'm too tired).

I change baby's clothes - due to drool, spit up or poop no less than 3 times every day.

I wash diapers every 3 days. Clothes about every-other day.

I play with my baby for no less than 20 minutes after each nap which is tummy time, exercise time (love the baby crunches) and playing with toys.

Most days I take a shower. More often than not this happens later than 11:00 am. Baby plays on her play mat during this time.

I take on average 8 photos per day. I'm doing a 365 project - a photo a day for a year (great way to make sure I take lots of baby photos!). I hardly ever can take just one. Somedays I take 20 or more.

I get paid for my above mama work in about 20 heart-melting smiles, 10 bubbling giggles and collectively about 2 hours of chatter everyday. I give change in the form of raspberries on the belly, snuggles in the rocker and dances to off-key singing. We both think we are getting the better end of the deal.

Amelia the Sleepy Little Lady Bug

2010-01-26T11:39:00.000-08:00

This story is about a sleepy little lady bug named Amelia who had just one spot.

Her Mama wrapped her up in a tiny pink blanket and laid her on her cot.

"But Mama," said the little bug to her mother, "I'm not sleepy yet."

Mama kissed Amelia's small antenna with a smile and said, "close your eyes, my pet."

The baby bug instead opened them wide and gave a hopeful smile.

Mama smiled back and nodded, "Ok, I'll read to you, for just a while."

And Mama read to the small bug and soon the story was finished,

though the small bug's determination to stay awake had not diminished.

"What will help you sleep?" Asked mother bug as she patted her baby.

What I'd like now is a song, and old hymn, maybe."

And Mama's voice filled the air and made baby feel warm and cozy.

Soon she drifted into a dream that made her feel happy and rosy.

She was in a field of buttercups and an old tree with lots of knots,

And her back was not just one black spot, instead there were lots.

And she felt so grown up she decided to fly a little ways away.

She realized she went farther than she meant to when the sky turned grey.

Worried, she turned back towards the tree, but a strong wind came and pushed her back,

through the air she flew until she hit something hard with a smack.

Looking up to see what had stopped her flight,

she saw a web and a spider who could eat her in one bite.

And the spider came near and little Amelia began to shake,

"Oh what have I done?" cried the bug, "I've made a mistake!"

And the spider stopped and chuckled a bit,

And came a little closer and told the bug, "I will admit,"

"That although a tasty meal you may be,"

"There's something else you need to see."

And the spider cut her free and moved aside,

and behind her stood her children, all wide-eyed.

"Your mother must wonder where you are,

She'll be surprised you've come so far."

"So hurry back and and stay with her,

And when she asks, tell her where you were."

And when the small lady bug made it home,

she hugged her mama and promised not to roam.

And then little Amelia woke up from her dream to find

That she had decided to listen to her mama and always mind.

a day in the life of millie - 4 months old

2010-01-18T17:22:00.000-08:00

1:00 (am) I'm hungry

1:03 Ooh, a paci will do, thanks, Mama.

1:30 No, I really am hungry. What do you mean you just got back to sleep? You mean you - ooh, paci. Happy.

1:45 I'm serious now!

1:49 Mmmmilk.

2:02 Can't... keep... eating...

2:04 Back in my crib for some serious sleeping.

2:10 Mama, I changed my mind, I can eat more!

2:11 Oh, rats, all I get now is the paci. But that's... not... what I... zzzzz....

5:00 Papa's up, it must be time to eat again!

5:10 This was a good year for milk, it's juuuust right.

5:30 Thanks, Mama, I think I'll sleep again now.

8:00 MAMA! Let's play!!

8:02 Freedom from the swaddler! *wiggle wiggle wiggle*

8:04 Oh, let me tell you ALL about my dream... *chatter chatter chatter*

8:05 Ahh, freedom from the diaper!

8:07 Oh, nuts, a diaper AND clothes.

8:10 I love my play mat!

8:25 Mama I'm bored.

8:25 Oh my! Who's that silly baby looking at me? *giggle giggle giggle*

8:30 Milk, please!

8:31 Mmmphankoo *drink drink drink*

8:50 Burrrrrrp. Ahhh.

9:00 Why can't I just wear wet clothes? I don't care if they have throw-up on them...

9:03 But I don't WANT to get dressed again.

9:04 But I don't WANT to play anymore

9:05 But I don't WANT to swing.

9:06 But I don't WANT a new diaper

9:09 Oh, swaddled in my crib is what I wanted...

10:25 Ha ha! I can't believe it. Hahaha!

10:35 Mama! You're here, isn't this so much fun?

10:40 Fresh diapers are wonderful!

10:45 Ahh! My play mat! I can't believe my good fortune!

10:55 Wow, Mama, I AM hungry, how did you know?

11:13 Oh, you DIDN'T want me to throw up on you? My bad!

11:18 Um, if I play nicely on my play mat can I get in the bath with you?

11:30 Wait! Don't turn the water offf.... *whine whine whine*

11:34 Ooh, it's that baby again! What a silly looking baby!

11:39 Do I HAVE to sit in my swing?

11:45 Hot dog! Mama's sitting next to my swing while she eats!

12:06 Mama, I've really had enough swinging.

12:07 No, don't want to play either.

12:08 But Whoozit, I don't want to...

12:10 No, don't want to sleep... zzzzz....

1:30 Oh drat, I feel asleep! Mama! I'm awake! Mama! *yell yell yell*

1:32 Haha, I can be loud! *giggle (yell) giggle (yell) giggle (yell)*

1:37 ...And THEN... *chatter chatter chatter*

1:42 ...And that's the end of the story.

1:44 Seriously, I'm done talking.

1:45 Can't make me talk.

1:47 HA! It's that baby again! AHAHAHA! *giggle giggle giggle*

1:49 Let's eat, yo!

1:51 You know Mama, I LOVE that you have milk ready for me.

2:15 Buuuuurrrrpp.

2:17 No really Mama, I'm done burping.

2:19 Burp.

2:20 Oops. Sorry. You wanted to change anyway, right?

2:22 I have to change too! But I don't mind being wet. Ooh, a yellow diaper.

2:25 I don't want to play.

2:27 Wait, don't be so hasty with the nap thing. Let's talk about this. *chatter chatter chatter*

2:30 Chatt-mmph... paci.

4:00 Waaahh!

4:02 I don't know why I'm crying. I just woke up.

4:03 Hi Whoozit, you see... *chatter chatter chatter*

4:05 Mama, I'm grumpy. What, milk? OK!

4:10 But I have to loooook at that, I can't eat now!

4:11 Gah! Why aren't you feeding me!?

4:23 But I don't have any burps

4:25 Nope, none.

4:29 Oh wait, I think I feel a burp...

4:31 Papa's home! I can't burp now!

4:34 Sorry Papa, I had to burp.

4:35 WOW, I can't believe this is what you look like Mama. Must. Stare. *stare stare stare*

4:47 The kitchen is so amazing. Just LOOK at everything... *wiggle wiggle wiggle*

5:16 Ok, I'll swing while you eat supper, but you'd better keep talking to me!

5:27 Um, guys, um, I'm done swinging now, are you done yet?

5:31 Hey, Mama, really, I want out of my swing now...

5:33 Papa! Come on, get me out of here...

5:34 I knew Mama would pick me up. Now if I can only reach that plate...

5:45 What?! Mama AND Papa are playing with me?! This is great!

6:00 I hear it! The beautiful sound of the bathtub symphony!

6:07 I'm going to be a merbaby someday. *splash splash splash*

6:31 But I don't WANT my neck cleaned... what do you mean "cheese neck?"

6:33 I'm a lamb! Get in my mouth you lamb towel!

6:36 But I don't WANT my jammies on...

6:38 Green Eggs and Ham again? You must like this story, Mama.

7:01 I do so like you, Milk...

7:34 I'm too sleepy to finish...

7:41 Ok, I'm done now. That was a lot of work!

7:42 zzzzz....

7:59 Mama?...I'm thirsty...

8:06 Papa? ...I need a paci...

8:34 Mama? I need- mmphankoo fer my paci. gooood.... night.

catfight at the supermarket?

2010-01-18T17:00:00.000-08:00

There is no Andy's market here. There is, however, a Food 4 Less, which is the poor man's supermarket, with a surprisingly good natural food section. While trying to find some much loved vegemeat, we encountered a woman at the end of the isle. She was stopped looking at the natural chocolates, her cart not quite in the middle, but not quite on the side either. By the time we reached the end where she was, I realized that my cart wasn't going to fit through the space. So, I stop and fuss with Millie a minute to just let her know we where there. Nothing. So, I politely said, "excuse me, can I just scoot by?" She turned and looked at us with an expression we read to say, "I don't understand what you mean." So, I revaluate the space. Nope, about 2 inches short. So I try to explain another way, "I don't have enough room to get by." And smiled as apologetically and nicely as my face allowed. We then got the real meaning of the woman's look, when instead of inching her cart the few inches to the side, she shoves it forward out of the isle (quite dramatically) and says, "You couldn't just go around? That's what everyone else did. Come on. (mumble, mumble, mumble)" in the rudest tone she could muster.

While I didn't stick around to inquire as to the reaction, I did wonder. Do normal people react like that? Take the average Joe off the street, when asked (quite nicely) to do something as simple as scoot over by a stranger, would he do it? Would he do it happily, or like this woman, begrudgingly? I always assume the best of people and am often shocked by reactions when you don't have time to think before you act. Had this woman just been fired from her job, or dumped by her boyfriend? Or was she just having a bad day and needed some chocolate to cope with the world? Whatever her reason, it was a good reminder to me that no matter how bad your day is, someone else might be having a perfectly pleasant day.

Be nice, people. What good or use is there in being rude to people who are just trying to get by in life? Mean people end up on other people's blogs as examples of what not to do. And dear woman from the natural chocolate isle at Food 4 Less: I truly hope that you enjoy the chocolate you had to fight for. May it sweeten your day and your attitude.

millie the bumble bee

2010-01-17T14:21:00.000-08:00

There was once a small bumble bee named Millie who was very, very small,

In fact the big bumble bees would tell her she was too small to do anything at all.

When spring woke the flowers up, all the bees would tell her to get out of the way.

"So sorry, little bee," they would buzz when she tried to help. "You're too small," they would say.

And the small bumble bee would sadly look down and watch from a distance.

All the while wondering if there was a reason for her very small existence.

And on one of these days when she had been pushed to the side,

She sat down on a small white mushroom and cried.

Timidly a teeny green frog came close and listened to the small bee's crying.

"Excuse me, small bee," said the teeny green frog, "I hope you don't mind my prying."

"But I heard your cry and I was wondering what would make such a small bee so sad."

"Oh little frog," said the small bee in reply, "If only I could help them, I would be so glad."

The frog smiled at the bee and said "I know what it's like to be small."

"I used to be sad too, but then I met a very special squirrel sitting on a brick wall."

"And the squirrel said to me, 'worry not, my little friend, for the size that matters is on the inside.'"

"And he made it very clear: 'a heart of kindness and joy is nothing to hide.'"

And the little bee smiled at the teeny frog, and the teeny frog smiled at the little bee.

And the little bee thanked the frog and headed for the hive in the the tree.

And when she got there, instead of feeling in the way, or like a helpless child,

She flew around the others as she spread joy and smiled.

creative, creating, created

2010-01-04T16:08:00.000-08:00

I am a mama to a beautiful almost 4-month old baby girl. That means that a large part of my day includes pumping, feeding, changing, napping, cleaning and rocking. For the most part, those are all very good things. Somedays, like today, however, those things come in waves I have not yet learned to surf above... so I sink below.

Millie went down for morning nap like a pro. I decided I was going to relax with a little craft time. I'll admit the smugness was dripping off me. All those moms who can't get their baby to nap? Hahaha, not me. In fact, I was so smug about the napping I thought I'd show off with a little laundry too. Until the washer got off-balanced. It was really loud. Millie noticed too... Shortly after she was oh-so-close to being asleep again, something woke her up. What now? Someone, not me (but having the same size and shape) forgot to put the CD on repeat. So after the last of the soothing lullabies Millie's room was plunged into... the sounds of a thousand things that can (and will and did), wake her up. Not so smug anymore, are you Mama?

Today was the day of a thousand things gone wrong. GPS messed up. Made us run late. No parking downtown. After I paid to park I saw that the first 3 hours were free, I was only staying 1. Got to the library late. Didn't really get to talk to anyone. Millie fussed (it was her nap time), didn't get to explore or get my library card. Came home book-less. Millie ate as slow as she could, when I just wanted her to sleep so I (underline I) could get some things done. She didn't want to sleep. She didn't want to swing. She just wanted... me. After all my attempts to brush her off and quickly pass her off to her crib, my crying baby just wanted to be in my arms and hear my off-tune singing. Kind of makes you feel a little humbled going through life as fast as you can when all of a sudden an angel needs you to stop and sing.

goodbye 2009

2009-12-31T17:20:00.000-08:00

2009. What a strange year. Here are some stats:

Home pregnancy tests taken: 1
Times tried to get pregnant: 1
Scrapbooks completed: 1
Scrapbooks started: 2
Film script pages written: 99
Cans of black olives eaten: 20 + (pregnancy craving)
Years of marriage celebrated: 6
Car accidents and tickets: 0
Times fallen down stairs: 1
Trips to Ikea: 1
Pairs of shoes purchased: 2
Degrees earned: 1 (+1 for Todd also)
Weddings attended: 1
Computers purchased: 2 (returned the Mac Book for a Mac Book Pro)
Houses lived in: 3
Times moved: 2
Friends/relatives who had babies or got pregnant: 10
Quilts sewn: 1
Quilts attempted: 3
Baby showers attended: 5
Pounds gained: over 55
Pounds lost: 30
Times sissy visited: 2
Photos uploaded on Facebook: 693
TV shows discovered while on partial bed rest: 3
Ultrasounds had: 4
Times drove (11 hrs total) from Medford to WW (or vice versa): 5
IVs had: 5
Surgeries had: 2
ER trips: 2
Books printed: 10
Days before due date my water broke: 22
Hours in labor: 8 (5 of them hurt)
Minutes pushing: 26

Dollars paid (thank you, insurance) for baby: 31, 120
Little angels born to me: 1

the icky sickies

2009-12-30T08:14:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting in a dark room. The bedroom, actually. Todd is sleeping still, I've fed baby and put her back to sleep. She is sick. My icky sicky. Now, I would never very wish sickness or discomfort upon my little angel, but I have to say, her sicky squeak is so stinkin cute. She sounds like a little squeaky toy with a teeny little voice. Of course the voice can't say anything as it's only a week away from being 4 whole months old. :)

Our Christmas vacation has been quite bittersweet. When we were at my family's house Todd was sick. He got better just in time for us to return to his family's house, only for me to get sick. I am on the tail end of it, today we return home, and yesterday Millie got sick. Sheesh. I was really hoping Mills wouldn't get it. Poor thing. Between Todd and I we've been through over 4 boxes of tissues. Thank the Lord for Puffs Ultra with Lotion. The only tissues I use.

We've been gone for a week and 4 days. I didn't think to stop the mail. I know a few packages have been mailed to us, so I'm wondering whether I'll come home to wet, soggy packages or packages who someone has walked off with. I wondered if a neighbor would pick them up, we haven't really met any of the neighbors yet so I don't know if they would or not. We're about to find out.

I am starting a year-long photography project I am very excited about. It's a photo a day for 365 days. I think it will be really fun, and will remind me to take more photos of Millie. It starts on Friday so I can hardly wait! I'll be posting the photos on the photo blog, link to the right. Until then, I'll be heading out now. Packing, driving, then, home!

blessings in abundance

2009-12-17T14:25:00.000-08:00

I don't often stop and think about what blessings I have been given each day. Today, however, has been a day in which I feel blessings in abundance, and can't help but rejoice over them.

Since moving to a new town, I haven't ventured out a whole lot. When I have, I've watched young mothers with their children and think, "Please come talk to me..." Not often do we find ourselves approaching strangers just to say "will you be my friend?"

My excitement began when I stumbled on a local group on an international website I'm a member of (babycenter.com great for pregnancy and babies!). After talking to a few of the gals on there, I was invited to a mom's group at a local church... so local, in fact, that I could walk there.

This morning I woke up and puttered around the house, checked email, and then, after logging onto my babycenter account, remembered the mom's group. Just to get out and walk again was wonderful! I wrapped my ankle up and hoped that it wouldn't hurt walking on it. Then Millie and I set out to the church not more than 2 blocks away from our house. I was so excited to finally meet other Christian moms! Everyone was so welcoming and I had a fabulous time, and even won a door prize! While I can't say I have friends here yet, I have some definite prospects. :) My morning was better than I ever hoped it might be.

Now, my afternoon is so pleasant and Millie is napping again - without a fight! She was on strike for the last 4 days, but today I didn't have to do anything and she went down like a trooper. So I took the opportunity to eat, edit some photos and do a little blogging.

I don't often just stop and think, "wow, I'm blessed." But today has been a day that reminds me that I am so blessed. Looking around me, I'm in a warm home, abundant with books and photos and things that remind me of my children in Africa and Kiribati and the Philippines. I feel blessed to have had so many opportunities in my life, and feel blessed trusting that the blessings will continue to flow. A month ago I didn't know where I'd be living, today I know that I don't have to ever worry about the future, because the future has already been provided for. Now that's an amazing God with some amazing grace.

#&@!!!

2009-12-09T17:01:00.000-08:00

So, I'm writing this from my sofa. Where I currently am residing with an ice pack on my ankle. Which is now sprained from falling down the stairs (really just one, I thought I was at the bottom but that last one tricked me). I was holding my baby. Who I did not drop. But who got totally freaked out. And who had to cry until Papa came come. Cause I couldn't - and can't - walk. How in blazes am I supposed to take care of my baby when I can't walk??? I'm so frustrated!!! :(

sunday morning musings

2009-12-06T06:09:00.000-08:00

We are all moved. For details on the move, see the next blog post below. We have now been in our new home for a whole week. I haven't blogged much because, well, my life is slightly insane at the moment.

The photo here is Millie in the moving truck. She was such a good girl. We have this book that is a soft fabric book with other textured fabric in it for her to feel. We read the book over and over and I kept taking her hands and rubbing them on the textures. She thought this was great fun. Then I propped the book up and she had fun grabbing it and looking at the bring colors. This is a photo of that moment. She was so enjoying herself. :) We left home, drove 7 hours one day with I think only 2 stops and then 4 the next day with no stops. My baby is such a good, tolerant baby. :) I'm so blessed and pleased.

The only other eventful thing that happened in the car was patches of super intense fog, which was fun for me because fog is one of my favorite things, but lousy for those driving because sometimes we had to slow way down. The fog seemed to rest in big patches, and then we'd drive right out of it into clear skies. It was good times.

Millie has been enjoying her new house. She loves the stairs because when I go up and down (which I do I'd say about 20 times per day, no joke) I bounce (eh, that is, when I'm holding her) and sing the bouncy song. I'd tell you about the bouncy song but it'd loose so much in translation and just wouldn't be the same. If you come visit us I'd be happy to sing you the bouncy song though. :P LOL!

Her room faces (either south or west) and is light by the bright afternoon sun, which makes for a good play area. Not such a good napping area. I find it helps to drape a blanket over the toy bar on her glider bed to make a little tent for her. I'm teaching her now to make tents in the house, just like Auntie Sissy and I used to do. :) Now those were some good times. Our house, which is actually a townhouse, is quite small for all 3 of us and all our stuff. We don't have much extra room, and the one spare closet we do have we are going to have a hard time not over stuffing to the brim to to point of being totally useless. I hate that we have so much stuff. Blah. The kitchen is the worst part of the whole house when it comes to storage, there are few cupboards and only a few drawers, none of which are even wide enough for a silverware tray!

I'm going to get baskets and make them lay horizontal in the drawer. I have to say, after looking at so many houses that day we house-hunted here, I didn't even pay attention to stuff like this. I just have to remember that I'm so lucky to be in the small percentage of people on this planet who even have a warm, safe, furnished home. When I remember that the things I don't like about his place don't seem so bad anymore. Especially when I turn on a light or get something out of my refrigerator. Then I really see some blessings.

We haven't done a lot of exploring. Yesterday we visited a church here, sadly, we weren't overly impressed. No one really talked to us or anything. Not really what we're looking for in a church. After lunch we went to a park (well, that's what they called it online) in real life it was more of a... hill with trails. It was pretty cold out and the sun was going down so Millie and I waited in the car while Papa explored a bit. We'll go back and explore some more another day. I have a few big cozy fuzzy full-body suits for Millie, so she'll stay pretty warm. I think I have the habit of keeping her a little too warm sometimes.

There are these crazy trees here, as shown here, with these big balls of what I think Eric said was mistletoe. They are pretty neat, I've never seen them before. They kind of remind me of some of the trees in Zimbabwe. Actually, looking at this photo it could almost be Africa.

Everyone keeps asking us what our plans are, if we're still going to be moving abroad, if we're going do be missionaries still, when and where we're going, etc. The answers to these questions are, well, we don't have them at the moment. We still have a very strong desire to go, yes, even with Millie, but lack the direction we feel God gives us. We feel for now that He's telling us to wait here for a spell. Maybe we just need to get our school loans paid off, maybe something will happen that we need to be in America for, we aren't sure. But don't worry, we'll let the world know when we know. :)

moving blog

2009-12-06T06:08:00.000-08:00

This post is one that chronicles The Move. 11 hours in the car, 500-some miles, 3 days of moving and 1 happy growing baby that watches the world go by along the way.

Nov. 27 Loading Day

Nov. 28 Leaving Day

After a night of very little sleep, we sleep in past our 5 am wake up time all the way to 7 am. Shower, pump, load the Tortoise onto the trailer, feed Millie, stop for breakfast, stop for gas… finally we get on the road around 9. We stop in The Dalles, about 2 hours away, to feed Millie, and then again at a rest stop about 45 minutes away from Salem, arriving in Salem about 2. There we are greeted by more family than we know what to do with. All the girl nieces are there anxiously waiting to hold their her cousin Millie. It was a jolly good time but we knew we had an early start the next day so it’s off to bed as soon as Millie goes down around 8:30.

Nov. 29 Arriving/Unloading Day

3:30 am. That’s when Millie woke up to eat. So, we got up, fed her, showered and started loading the last bit of things we had used in Salem or left there previously. Todd left in the U-Haul around 5:15, everyone else followed at 5:30. There was so much fog. So much. Despite the many miles of low visibility, we made pretty good time. We got into town a half hour before we were meeting the property manager, so we explored Ashland, which is the most charming town. Soon we had our keys and were walking into our new place, which is a 2-bedroom townhouse. We unloaded (well, mostly the guys unloaded, the gals stayed in tending to baby and moving boxes around) the truck until about 3:30, just in time to get the truck back by 4. The in-laws then left, leaving us in a forest of boxes… we didn’t do much else but go out for supper and go to bed.

Nov. 30 Unpacking Begins…

I now live in a world in which boxes are the controlling factor. Can I go into that room? No, boxes are in the way. I can I use that one thing? If I can find it in a box. Speaking of boxes, I’m looking for that one box with black print on it. You know, that one we put the thing in? Boxes, boxes, boxes…

The one thing that isn’t lost is Millie’s growth. That kid has not only doubled her birth weight; she’s surpassed it. At over 11 pounds now she’s a week away from her 3-month birthday. She has reached a new milestone; she’s a grabber. Toys, hair, clothing, she grabs it all if it happens to fall near to her chubby little fingers. She has yet to grasp the whole “reaching” thing though. Today she was on her play mat and I set a toy down beside her, I looked away, and when I looked back she was holding the toy on her tummy. So when we were at Target I got these cool textured rings, and she’s been holding onto them all evening; during supper, play time and bath time. It’s so cute.

Well, if you are reading this, and I’m not dead, it means that we finally got internet in out house. It should be hooked up Thursday.

very dedicated

2009-11-22T07:56:00.000-08:00

I've said from day 1 that Millie is an angel. Yesterday she was dedicated at church. She has been dedicated to the One that made her such a beautiful angel. It was a wonderful day with family and friends, Millie enjoyed all the attention lavished upon her by more grandparents than she knew what to do with. She basked in their love and was content just to show them all how cute she can be.

The day began at the Umapine SDA Church where Pastor Roger dedicated and prayed over her, presented her with a certificate, flowers and a special church bulletin. Then family all came over to our house for lunch, the first time everyone's all been over to our house. We took some family photos and sat around watching Millie show us how she plays and laughs on her play mat. She even got to skip nap time. :)

blessings aplenty

2009-11-20T20:47:00.000-08:00

There are few days in one's life that big prayers are answered in big ways. Little gems of life happen every day, small things that bring smiles to hearts, but the big things, that bring smiles deep in souls happen less frequently. However, in the Anderson household, this happened to be one of those days where something really big happens to bring a smile to the deepest parts of our souls.

It all started when Todd got laid off 2 months ago. He was told at that time that we would be loosing his job, but was not given an end date. With the impending lay-off looming over our heads, we began to search high and low for a new, better paying job for him. Nothing in WW... nothing in Seattle. Or Portland. Or... anywhere it seemed. Finally one place called back. He had an interview. He took a drug test, mental test, and a physical test.

At this point I'd like to just interject that since we knew Todd would be loosing his job, we had given notice to our landlords that we would be out by the end of the month (this month). Moving somewhere would not only wipe out our savings, but also the money set aside for my new car. And, could we find a job that would pay him what we need to pay off bills? As of Thursday, 10 days before the last day of November, we still didn't know where we were going. But then Friday happened...

Todd got THE call. Yes, they would like to offer him the job. Yes, they would like to pay him more than we thought they might. Yes, they would like to pay our moving expenses. Yes. Yes, YES!!! If you are reading this and thinking, "that's cool, but so what?" Yesterday I had to pack up my house and move out in 10 days and didn't know where I was moving to. Yesterday we were going to have to use up all our savings and I wasn't going to be able to get a new car. Yesterday, I was really wondering what God was going to do, cause I knew we had done all we could. No more wondering. Just praising.

Todd will be working on really big helicopters that do firefighting and logging. Not the whole thing, just parts of them. We are still deciding which of the 3 very good options we looked at for housing we will take. We are packing up, we plan on being out of town a week from today. Todd starts a week from Tuesday. This is more than cool; it's a bigger answer to our prayers than we imagined. This is God being faithful to us when we are less than faithful back. So undeserving yet so grateful. My heart sings today. My soul smiles. This has been a very good day.

around the world in 5 days...

2009-11-19T09:06:00.000-08:00

Well, at least around my little part of the world.

We left home Friday mid-day and got to Salem around 8. The normally 5-hour drive can take as long as 7 1/2 hours (oh, I'm sure it CAN take longer), we did it in about 6. Millie did pretty well, and she slept most of the night... but not all of it.

Saturday was a sleep in day! We went to an Indian restaurant with the fam and then in the evening went shopping... Todd left his nice clothes at home and couldn't show up to his potential job(s) in his ratty t-shirts. So, we hit Ross and Target and came home with one good-lookin' husband.

Sunday our plans to leave by 10 were foiled when we woke up shortly before 10. That sounds late, but I put Millie down at 11 and got up twice with her before handing her off to her Grandma at 7. It take me much longer to get 8 hours of sleep these days. We got into Medford around 3:30. We quickly found where Todd might be working, then went off to get lost finding the motel. Someone needs to tell Google maps that a "left" turn does not get us there when we're supposed to go "right." They were wrong. But, we finally got there just as it was getting dark. We unloaded and then found a Taco Bell/Pizza Hut for supper. Millie did fairly well this night.

Monday was the day from traveling hell. Now that I'm not crying or dirty it doesn't seem so bad... We woke up a little before 7. Todd got all ready and at 7:30 we headed down to the "continental breakfast" (aka fake OJ and prepackaged cinnamon horns) when we found out checkout time was earlier than we thought. With Todd needing to be at his job testing at 8, and not knowing how long it would go, I had to drive him there. So, we all got into the car - me unshowered - and went to the place. Todd had me wait outside, because he knew he was going to have to go to a clinic for a physical at some point. He was out moments later saying he'd need to leave in 20 minutes. So, I waited. When he returned we discovered he'd be there for 2 hours, which was past checkout time. So, we rushed back to the motel and threw everything in the car and checked out - and went on to the clinic. Millie and I hung out in the waiting room for nearly 2 hours, then we went back to Todd's hopeful job. They told him it'd be about 2 hours, so Millie and I went to the mall for 2 hours (pretty good sized) and then came back to the job, where, much to my dismay, we waited another hour and 20 minutes in the car. While Millie was fussy. And I was unshowered. By then it was so late in the day (nearly 3:30), that we drove around and looked at a few apartments but couldn't get inside to see any. We were frustrated and started the drive back to Salem. We were to tired and mentally and physically exhausted that by the time we reached Grant's Pass 30 minutes down the road, we decided to get a hotel for the night.

Millie apparently does not like sleeping at Travelodges. At least she didn't at this one... Tuesday we slept in a bit because we were up so much that night, I finally got up, showered, and repacked all of our belongings (which by the way was a comical amount, thank you Millie). We then went back to Medford, Todd handed out more resumes, we looked at several apartments, found a few good ones, and then headed back to Salem. Millie blissfully went down at 9:30 (she never goes to bed that early, even at home).

Wednesday we puttered around the house packing and lounging (well, I did, Todd pounded the pavement once again with his resume at the airport). We left around 2:30. At our traditional stop in Hood River, Millie decided to spring a leak when I had her diaper off to change her. She soaked everything. After an unpleasant cold wet-wipe bath, she was redressed and dry and we got supper to eat on the road. We got home about 10 minutes after 8, unpacked, and then unwounded with a move, "Up." Millie once again didn't have a lot of interest in sleep, so it was nearly midnight when I went to sleep. I was up again at 5 for 2 hours and then up again at 8:30. I'm still sleepy. But, laundry is now going and there is some kind of order being restored. Sleep will have to wait, there's now packing to do. We have one week to be packed up and moved out...

new features

2009-11-14T20:19:00.000-08:00

I have spent much time today (while lounging) adding new features to my blog. I added a tag cloud, a search engine, and (my favorite) photo links to new shutterfly pages. I've been working on adding albums in Millie's page. Next I'll make a nature page. Check back to see more features!

you can't make me (but he can)...

2009-11-13T23:10:00.000-08:00

I don't want to move. Really. I have this image in my head of throwing myself down on the floor in a fit beating my fists into the carpet screaming, "you can't make me!" But of course outwardly I just smile and pass the packing tape.

We arrived in Salem after 7 1/2 hours of driving, stopping and feeding baby. Tomorrow we have the day to hang out with family and then Sunday we go on to Medford to look for a house and Todd will do some tests for his potential new job. Medford. Really? Won't it just be easier to stay where we are?

I went to bed an hour ago. Since then, I've rearranged, updated and spiffed up my blog, updated my facebook status, and looked at some photos on a great photography blog I found. I have yet to do any sleeping.

Millie is now 2 months old. Her accomplishments include: holding her head up, holding her weight for a few seconds, throwing up on every article of clothing we both own, and laughing and smiling like an angel. Her favorite pastimes include: napping, eating, playing, throwing up and bath time. Her dislikes are: 7 1/2 hour car rides, getting dressed, and doing the same thing for more than 10 minutes. Her ambitions in life are: throw up on everyone she meets, learn how to talk like a lion (she does a great lion cub imitation), and learn how to swim before she can walk.

That's all the blogging my brain has time for. Sleep is about to claim me, so I'd better get comfy.

napping personality

2009-11-12T13:49:00.000-08:00

My baby was tired. Very tired. She fussed, I fed her... she fussed, I changed her... she fussed... it was time for a nap. This is our nap story:

At 8 weeks old, Millie began sleeping though the night with 1 feeding. Papa puts her down around 10:30 (on a good night) and then I get up with here anywhere from 3:30 to 5 to feed her, and then it's back to bed. We have a pretty good routine down. But, during the day we don't follow much of a schedule. I feed and change Millie when she wants or needs to be fed and changed, and usually she sleeps when she's tired. Not today. Today Millie fought sleep. She fussed until it was time for another bottle. So, I gave her her regular 3 oz bottle. She fussed some more. So, I gave her 2 oz of formula, which she only gets as a supplement when she's extra hungry. She still fussed. I changed her diaper and gave her a good snuggling on the sofa. With a full belly she was good and drowsy, so I put her in her crib. Easy enough. I slowly left the room and puttered around for a few minutes before checking to see if she was really going to nap. I went back in and stood over her crib. She gave a little wiggle, then a another. Then an arm came out from under the blanket. Before I knew it, two big eyes were looking up at me... with a smile. Now, this was no ordinary smile. It was a smile that said, "Come on, Mama. You KNOW you want to hold me. Snuggle me. Love me." I smiled back and patted her, talked quietly to her and shushed her. Her eyes would close, and then, BAM!, there they were again, smiling up at me.

I then reach the crucial point every parent must face: the point where I have to decide, fast, what kind of parent I really am. I definitely lean more on the side of "attachment parenting." Seeing my little angel wanting nothing else in the world but my love I knew letting her cry even for a minute wasn't - and won't be for a long time - an option.

So, I stopped patting her and talking to her and just quietly sang "sshhh" to her. I turned on her sleepy music (Enya) and stood over her, so she could see me, but trying to not do anything that would keep her awake. Then, it happened. I didn't see it coming... I never had a chance. It was the lip. Not just any lip, the bottom lip. And it stuck out. Far. I picked her up as she began crying. After 5 minutes of snugly rocking, I set her down again. The entire process repeats itself. So, after 5 more minutes of snugly rocking, I put her in the glider bed Jenn gave us. So far, she has stayed asleep this time.

I love that smile. And those big, happy eyes. I just want them to get some sleep so they'll be even more happy.

thank you very much

2009-11-07T14:13:00.001-08:00

It is now deep in the middle of autumn here in the pacific north west. The trees are so beautiful and leaves fall on you when you walk through the park. It makes for very good hot-cider-drinking opportunities.

The Anderson house is knee-deep in baby... baby clothes, baby toys, baby furniture, baby spit-up... we are also knee-deep in decisions. We seem to have lost our map for life. So, what comes next? We're lacking a little direction.

A little over a month ago we found out that Todd was going to be laid off soon. His last day of work - and the day we have to be out of our house - is the last day of November. That day is creeping up at an alarming speed. Not only are we not packed - except for what we never UNpacked - but we don't know where we are moving. Not like we don't have a house yet (we don't) but we don't even know the town we are moving to. The most likely option is southern Oregon. Where are we going to go? The world may never know (but if you know, please let us know. That would be mighty helpful, thanks).

Millie's world is slightly less in turmoil. She is happy. Safe. Secure. We took her in for her 2-month checkup (she's 2 months tomorrow): 9 pounds - 7 ounces (18th %), 21 inches long (8th %). She has to see an infant optometrist to make sure that her eyes are ok. They seem to be developing slow and don't track together (aka a lazy eye). She also has a herniated belly button, which is common and will most likely fix itself. At the end of the visit she had her 2 month shots... so sad. I may have cried more than she did. It made for a tough night for her. Poor thing was in pain. Which made mama's heart be in pain. All is better now though.

Today my goal is to get thank-you cards and birth announcements finished so I can mail them Monday. I have a start on them, but my little angel allows very little time for sitting down and getting them done. Papa is going to hang out with baby while I work on them. Maybe they'll go on a date. :D How long does proper etiquette give me to get it done? :/ Hopefully longer than 2 months (come on, etiquette, I just had a baby, give me a break...).

Happy autumn, all!

millie to music

2009-11-03T21:14:00.001-08:00

My latest animoto.com creation:

baby travel diaries day 3

2009-10-26T22:05:00.000-07:00

We left Salem around 2 and arrived home a little after 9... you do the math.

Apparently Millie's patience with being in her car seat has limits.

We stopped in Hood River and she had a total diaper blow-out in her cute and cozy bear suit. We were in the family bathroom for nearly 10 minutes cleaning her (and me) up. Todd had to go hunt for a bag for her soiled clothes. It was good times. She ate 2 or 3 times, so we had to stop for that, and I tried helping her stretch and move as much as possible when we stopped.

We all made it home in one piece, so all is well. :)

baby travel diaries day 2

2009-10-25T07:36:00.000-07:00

A day of family and visiting and eating! I woke up at 9 am... after a very much needed and appreciated 9 hours of sleep. During that 9 hours I was only up once to pump. It was the most amazing feeling to have gotten a full night's rest. So amazing. Here are photos from day 2:

Cousin Isabelle and Millie sit together in their new pretty dresses. Well, try to sit together.

One can't sit up yet and the other wanted to eat her cousin's pretty dress.

Isabelle rocked her little poodle dress. I had so much fun taking her photo in it. :)

My very photogenic niece Isabelle.

Millie's never seen anything so girly. She promptly threw up all over it and demanded her thermal army green pants back.

But oh my, she makes one pretty girl.

My little pumpkin!

baby travel diaries day 1

2009-10-23T10:30:00.000-07:00

We arrived in Salem early this morning. So early it can hardly be called today. Here's how it happened:

The Plan:

Todd: work until 1

Cas: be packed by 1

Millie: cooperate with mama so she can get everything ready to go by 1

The Andersons: car loaded and on the highway by 2, stop in Tri Cities briefly, in Salem by supper time.

The Actual Events:

Todd: flew to Tri Cities with a friend at noon, got home from work at 3:30

Cas: Amidst changing baby and herself several times, her day was spent a slave to the pump and feeding baby when she wasn't trying to consume vital nutrients in the form of Malt-o-Meal, Goldfish crackers and Everlasting Gobstoppers. Took an hour long walk with friend to meet Todd at the small airstrip to give him some flying necessities. Spent afternoon trying to soothe fussy baby.

Millie: Made it a goal to poop, throw up or get milk all over every piece of clothing available. Hers and Mama's. Slept for an hour in the stroller, fussed the rest of the afternoon.

The Andersons: All packing took place after 4, when Papa could hold baby and let Mama get some real work done. While Mama packed (not easy to pack for a baby, by the way), Papa made supper to eat in the car. Fussy baby lead to a distracted Papa and a burned supper. Finally, all loaded, in the car and on the highway by 6. Stopped at 9 at our traditional stop in Hood River and had supper at Mac Do's, getting back in the car at a shocking 10:00 (we can't figure out how we spent an hour in Mac Do's! See side story) . Arrived in Salem around midnight. Phew!

Side Stories:

Mac Do's: After a search for a baby changing station, we were directed to one in a restroom off the play area. Todd then sat down at a corner booth and began feeding baby. I ordered my coveted chicken nuggets and joined them. Shortly after, a very talkative couple with an 11-month old little girl came and sat down right next to us - despite the fact that every other table in the place was empty. They then decided to strike up a conversation about how fast children grow, and tell us about their children, ALL of them... including the man's twins born at 24 weeks because the mother took dope. We heard all about it. Then, another family came in and let their 2 children loose, so they climbed on the chairs and benches of our table and that of the other couple. They begged fries. Oh My Word. Seriously.

The Race: So, as much as I regretted it later, I didn't sleep in the car. I stayed up and chatted with Todd the whole 6 hours of travel. About 45 or so minutes out from Salem, we were enjoying a quite conversation about... something (must not have been that important) when a Subaru and a Volvo came racing, one on either side of our car at about 90 or 100 miles per hour. It was intense and we felt the "wake turbulence" (Todd's words) from the cars. It was cool and scary at the same time. I was more mad at the maniacs for endangering my baby. Ggr.

Well, I'll try to write a little everyday we are here on what it's like to travel with a 6-week-old baby in rainy Salem. :) I'll try to take photos also.

breasts, boobs, knockers, whatever you call 'em, I'm talking about 'em

2009-10-07T11:28:00.000-07:00

"Breast is Best" is a slogan I have heard over and over, and of course agreed with... kinda. Actually, breastfeeding isn't totally best... actually, it sucks. For those with, well, normal breasts I can imagine that breastfeeding IS best, economically, relationally, and so on. But for those of use who are, let's just say "not well equipped" in that area, it's really, really hard.

I asked to breastfeed seconds after Millie was placed on my belly, umbilical cord still attached. The doctor said I could in just a minute. And then it was hold on... and then it was wait. Wait, you have to have surgery. Wait, you have to be cleared in the recover room in ICU. Wait, you have to wait. So, I waited. The first time I was actually going to put my little babe to my breast I was so excited, this was IT, I was nurturing my young, tending to my offspring, I was nursing. Only... I wasn't. It didn't take my nurse long to see that me and breastfeeding, we weren't happening. And partly hormones, partly disappointment, and party exhaustion, I cried. And cried and cried. I couldn't feed my baby.

The problem for me lies with my nipples. They're flat. There, I said it. Flat, flat FLAT. Well, not totally flat, but too flat to give my newborn child anything to latch onto. Growing up and as a grown up, I knew that my nipples didn't always look like other ones I saw (don't be gross, you can see boobs everywhere these days, I didn't have to go looking) but I never thought of myself as abnormal. Just a little small, kinda like my boobs in general. But, back to the hospital bed I was sitting in with my baby in my arms, I was determined to do something to care for my baby.

Enter my friend and enemy the "Nipple Shield." We'll call him NS for short. Now, NS is a small, clear, plastic-rubber thing that fits over one's nipple, and kinda suctions on to the boob, and has a larger nipple for baby to latch onto. Sounds pretty handy, right? Well, for us, my frantic feeder and I, it turned out to be less than handy. Now, I was determined to stick with it, cause after all, it was best, right? Actually, the thing would fall off, even with me holding in it place in one hand and holding her head in the other hand, she'd have a hard time cause she wiggled so much. Then the nipple part would fill up with milk and she'd knock it off, sending milk streaming down into my pants. Then it was empty, and she didn't want to go through the hassle of it again, so she'd just give up. As would I. We both ended up frustrated and it was, well, not best.

So now, starting this morning (that's right, folks, I stuck with this sucker for nearly an entire month) I pump. Every 2 hours, and she gets a bottle. Easy as pie. So she still gets Mama's milk, only without Mama's less than loving frustration. Feedings are now a time of talking and laughing with my little one, who is happy, and me, who is much more happy. And this, my friends, is what's best.

a day in the life of millie anderson

2009-10-06T21:32:00.000-07:00

9:00 am Wahhh! I'm hungry mama!

9:02 Back asleep.

9:15 Hey, still hungry.

9:20 Ahhh, fresh diaper, thanks mama!

9:25 Gulping down some freshly squeezed mama's milk.

10:05 Burp.

10:10 I'm chill. Happy to just check out the world for a while. You could really use a comb, mama.

10:14 Here, let me throw up all over myself. Oh, what the heck, I'll throw up on you too mama.

10:15 But I don't want to change my clothes...

10:17 This doesn't match.

10:20 Why yes, I'd love to sit in my swing.

10:25 Wait a minute, I don't want to be in my swing!

10:30 Ah, walking around in Mama's arms, much better.

10:40 Oooh, I like the fan in the bathroom, ok mama, I'll sit here, but you better shower fast...

10:55 Yeah, I'm just about done sitting in the bathroom, I mean, really, how many times can you reset my music?

11:00 Can't you get dressed any faster?

11:02 I'm bored.

11:05 Yay, the Ergo!

11:35 Drat, I fell asleep. I'm hungry.

11:36 I mean it, I need some milk, pronto.

11:38 Ahhh, so refreshing.

11:50 Hey, why did you wake me up? Oh yeah, boobie...

12:05 You want a burp, I'll give you a burp!

12:10 I love my nice new dry diaper!

12:12 Hmm, I think I'll throw up now.

12:13 You mean I can't wear my wet throw up clothes anymore?

12:15 My play mat is cool, but check out my fingers! Wow!

12:20 Look Mama, I can throw up on myself AND my play mat!

12:21 But I don't want to change my clothes again...

1225 Happy to hang out on my play mat!

12:30 Wait, is that lunch you're planning on eating? Waahh! I don't want to be on my play mat anymore. Hold me, Mama.

12:40 Giggle! I'm having a fun dream while sleeping in the Ergo.

1:15 Hey, you ate lunch. Let me reward you by filling my diaper.

1:20 Ok, I'm done, you can change me now.

1:22 I don't want to sit down. I don't want to swing. I don't want to be swaddled.

1:25 Mmm, this is what I wanted. Suck, suck, suck.

1:50 No, I won't burp and you can't make me.

1:53 Ugh, Mylicon.

1:55 Fine... burp.

2:00 Mama, my diaper's full!

2:03 I need to be cuddled.

2:25 Yes! My play mat, I forgot about this thing. Oooh, look at the ceiling...

2:35 Ok, I'm done on the play mat.

2:36 Aahh, I like my paci.

2:40 I'm grumpy.

2:42 But I don't want to take a nap.

2:44 You can't make me.

2:46 Snore, snore, snore...

3:10 Hey, what's that - snore, snore, snore...

3:35 Good morning. I'm poopy.

3:37 Nothing beats a dry diaper.

3:40 I'd like to eat now.

3:41 I'd really like to eat now.

3:42 I don't care if you have to use the bathroom, I want to eat now!

3:45 OK, your diaper's dry, NOW can I eat?

3:47 Gulping down the goods!

4:29 Thanks, that was lip-smackin-good!

4:33 That's all the burps I have...

4:35 Bundled into the Ergo...

4:36 Mmm... fresh air! Where to today?

5:10 Back from our walk. That wore me out!

5:12 Hey mama, how about you change my diaper?

5:15 Dry and happy!

5:18 Sure, I'll hang out in my bouncy chair while you find something for supper.

5:23 You'd better put some music on if you want me to sit here much longer. And get me my paci. And a blanket. Oh, and...

5:27 La la la la!

5:35 Yay! Papa's home!

5:40 Come pick me up and play with me papa!

5:50 Your supper's ready? I'm cranky, hold me. No, don't eat, just hold me.

6:00 Hello, dreamland...

6:15 I'm awake. Hold me again. You can have seconds later.

6:20 Being passed off so Papa can eat now.

6:30 Mama, my diaper full again.

6:31 What do you mean it's Papa's turn?

6:32 Maybe if I cry papa will hold me.

6:34 Yay, it worked! A dry diaper and papa's holding me!

6:42 Papa, will you feed me?

6:45 Oh, mama, you again. I'm hungry.

6:46 Munch, munch, munch.

7:18 See this milk all over my face? That means I'm done and just playing now.

7:20 Burping like there's no tomorrow.

7:23 Filling my diaper like it's going out of style.

7:24 What do you mean it was never in style?

7:27 Ok, I'm done now.

7:28 Really, I'm done.

7:29 Ah, just a little more poopy... ok, now I'm done.

7:30 For real.

7:31 Someone please change me!

7:32 NOW!

7:33 Thanks papa.

7:35 Now that I'm dry, I think I'll throw up.

7:40 In my nice cozy PJs,

7:41 Hanging out with papa at the computer.

7:49 Ok, this is boring. Entertain me.

7:52 This is NOT entertaining me.

7:53 Neither is this.

7:55 Or this.

7:58 Oh, hi mama, I thought I was hanging with papa?

8:01 Happy with my paci.

8:03 I feel like a football. Being passed back to papa.

8:18 Ok, I'm bored again.

8:20 Why, yes, papa, I'd love to walk around the house with you.

8:25 Why are we sitting down?

8:27 Ok, I'm chill with my paci.

8:32 I feel grumpy.

8:35 Really grumpy.

8:37 WAHHH!

8:38 Ooh, back in the Ergo!

8:45 Oh, I was sleepy, not grumpy. I'll just nap.

9:00 Now I'm grumpy for real. Can I eat now?

9:02 You're not fast enough mama!

9:03 Oh for the love of Pete!

9:04 Thank you, sheesh!

9:40 I'll need some Mylicon tonight, thanks.

9:42 I don't want my diaper changed!

9:43 Wahh, I don't want to be naked.

9:44 Hurry up and get that thing on me!

9:45 Ok, I'm good now.

9:47 Lovin the swaddle.

9:55 Must... not... sleep. Must... stare... at... papa...

9:59 Dreaming about being in the womb. Cozy.

10:15 You're putting me in my bed now?

10:16 Ok. Back to sleep.

11:30 Grunt.

11:33 Grunt, grunt.

11:35 Grunt, grunt, grunt.

11:36 I knew if I grunted enough mama would let me sleep in her bed. Back to sleep.

1:00 This grunt is for real. I need to eat again.

1:05 Grunt.

1:10 Mama. Grunt.

1:20 Grunt. If you don't get up right now I'm going to cry.

1:21 See, I wasn't lying... Waahhhh!

1:23 Much better. Gulp!

1:55 Too sleepy to burp... burp... bur... snore.

2:00 Don't put me down.

2:10 Not yet.

2:20 5 More minutes?

2:30 Sleeping enough to be put back to bed.

3:30 Grunt.

3:40 Grunt, grunt.

3:45 Grunt, grunt, grunt.

3:36 Yes! It worked again!

5:00 Wahh! So hungry!

5:02 Not getting any less hungry.

5:03 What do you mean I need my diaper changed first? I'm hungry!

5:05 It's about time. Eat, eat, eat.

5:38 Don't wake me, I'm eating.

5:39 What do you mean I can't sleep and eat at the same time?

5:40 I'm eating!

5:46 Ok, I'm done. Snore.

8:50 Grunt...

8:55 Grunt. I'm going to cry...

Babies

2009-10-03T12:13:00.000-07:00

Millie and her pal Landon. Landon was born at 33 gestational weeks, and was due the week after Millie. He is now 6 weeks old. Millie is 3 weeks old here.

My little 3 week old funny face. =D

We missed church today to go see the doctor. Millie has a crusty, runny, goopy eye. It seems that it may be only a clogged tear duct, but we were given drops to help clear it up.

I'm tired but plan on sitting down and writing more later. :P

video: in the boppy

2009-09-29T09:07:00.000-07:00

Millie practices being awake and looking around after a very successful tummy time.

the day of no sleep

2009-09-28T16:13:00.001-07:00

My baby doesn't like sleep lately. Actually, it's not that she doesn't like sleep, I think that it's just she's growing, which is requiring her to eat every 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Nights, much to my dismay, are no different. She has now eaten and I am doing my best to trick her into napping. This includes me walking around my lawn in circles wearing my ergo front pack and my pajamas (I have yet to shower today). Trashy yes, but I'm a desperate woman.

This week marks the 40th week of pregnancy (if I were still pregnant) which means my baby is now full term. And, if she were still inside of me I would have not given birth to my sweet little 5 pound - 9 ounce doll, I would have to push this 6 pound, 3+ ounce monster out. Not a monster, she just seems like she's getting big. :) My due date would have been Wednesday.

This is almost the end os September, which means a new month and a new cell phone billing cycle. I've never been so close to using all (and going over) my minutes since I've had my plan. Being a cell minute nazi has paid off. Literally.

In home furnishing news, the roll top desk that I have hated forever is finally gone!!! I posted it this morning (again, only today I'm not going to go into labor 2 hours after posting it) and now it is gone! Thank you craigslist!!!

Well, adventures in mommyhood continue. My tricks have apparently failed and baby is awake... to be continued.

love my baby

2009-09-16T16:25:00.000-07:00

My baby is the kind of baby that most people hope for. Mama's gonna brag for just a minute. 1. She hardly ever cries. I can count on one hand the things that will make her cry. 2. She sleeps most of the night. 3. She doesn't fuss much and is very content just to look around and check out the world. 4. She's learning how to set her own feeding schedule. 5. She loves baths. 6. She is tolerant of Nana and Mama dressing her up and taking her photo. 7. She loves to snuggle. 8... and on and on... :D

We have found out that baby follows in Mama's lactose intolerant footsteps. I will not be able to eat any more dairy until I'm done breast feeding her. I had a little ice cream last night, with a lactaid, and she got the effects of the dairy without the help of the lactaid... after one bath she threw up big time and so she got another one. She just smiled and was a real trooper.

Millie is now over a week old, and weighs an ounce over her birthweight at 5 lbs 10 oz. She is doing great, and mama is too! We're a very happy, happy home. :D

life with baby

2009-09-12T16:23:00.000-07:00

We are still learning how to get in the swing of things at home with 4-day old Millie. She is doing great, eats from a bottle like a champ, and is gaining weight, she is now 5 lbs 3 oz. At her lightest she was down to 5 lbs 1 oz. Mama is doing well also, and finally has milk for baby! Because of some issues though, she is still fed breast milk from the bottle. It makes for a great bonding experience with papa and grandparents.

My mom and Todd's parents all got into town with about 20 minutes of each other yesterday afternoon. The grandparents are all already in love with baby and take turns holding her. There have been no cat fights yet over whose turn it is. :D Having so much help, I was able to nap for an entire hour of deep sleep today, meanwhile dishes and laundry got done! I'm so grateful and appreciative of the help.

My mom and I took Millie on her first walk today in my very awesome Ergo baby carrier. She slept the whole walk (which was not very far at all). It's pretty warm out still, so I tuckered out pretty quick. Back home to sit down and blog a bit. :)

Millie's Birthday

2009-09-09T06:22:00.000-07:00

Our first family photo

It was a surprise beginning when my water broke Monday at 12:30 in the afternoon. I got to the hospital a little before 4, was only dilated 2 cm, and was only having sporadic contractions. They wanted to induce labor, but I said I wanted to try to get it going naturally. I didn't want drugs. I also had less then 24 hours to give birth because my water had broke.

When Todd arrived around 5, I was still happy and only having minor contractions. Around 7 they started to get a little more intense. When the nurse who would be my nurse came on duty, I got the crushing news that I tested positive for Group Strep B, which doesn't mean anything for me, but is potentially lethal to baby. That meant that I had to be on an IV and get antibiotics so not to pass the GSB to baby. That also meant that I was not able to get in the jacuzzi to help with dilation or pain.

My friend and doula arrived around 8, and we started the birth ball, which ended up hurting my hips so much it was too hard to use.

I was checked sometime between then and 9 and had progressed very little. I was at 3 cm and contractions were still not super strong. I was still walking around trying to get this show on the road.

Shortly after my dad visited around 12:30 I was checked again. I was only at 5 cm but my contractions were now very strong. I was already struggling to get through them. Because of my slow progress I was offered 3 solutions: to induce and get the epidural, to continue struggling and hope I can start progressing, or to have a bit of Stadol, a pain reliever, into my IV. The Stadol was supposed to only take the edge off. I would feel and be awake for contractions and would be relaxed and sleep in between contractions. As soon as the Stadol hit my IV was out. Todd said that as soon as I fell asleep my contractions immediately began to get more intense.

It must have started to wear off around 2:30, because I remember feeling the less than delightful experience of what is called "back labor."

I was checked around 3 and was dilated to 9. The Stadol had done its job to help me relax so my body could to its job.

I began pushing at 3:35, Pushed through about 8 contractions, and didn't think I could keep going. The baby was so low that the doctor said one good push and I'd have a baby. Unfortunately that was easier said than done. My blood pressure elevated to the point of requiring me to go on oxygen and upping my IV (not the Stadol, I only had one dose), while baby's heart rate began to drop. The doctor said baby had to come now, and I needed help. He gave me two options: episiotomy or vacuum baby out. Because I learned in childbirth classes how much the vacuum hurts the baby (gives them a wicked headache) I chose to have a full episiotomy.

2 pushes later I heard a cry and Amelia Jane was born and was placed on my tummy. It was 4:01 am Tuesday, September 8. No pitocin, no epidural, just one dose of stadol.

She and I were both so worn out we just looked at each other, neither one of us even had the energy to cry.

As doctor began to sew me up and clean me up, baby was taken and cared for by papa and a nurse, while I delivered the placenta and continued to be sewn up. It quickly became apparent that my bleeding wasn't stopping. The doctor tried to find the cause, but was unable to reach it... part of the placenta had torn and was still attached to my uterus, which caused uncontrollable bleeding and wouldn't allow my uterus to contract back down. I was prepped for emergency surgery.

I woke up in ICU after having a D&C, which is where they went in and scraped the inside of my uterus to get anything, like the torn placenta, that was left behind. It took a long time to wake up from the anesthesia but I as soon as I was able to form words I asked for my baby. She was not allowed to leave the maternity ward and I had to stabilize before I could move.

Around 7 am I was finally taken to my room where Papa and baby waited for me. I finally got to hold my beautiful baby girl.

Yesterday was a blur. I know that several people stopped by, and I even remember most of them. :) It was a long time without sleep and the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Oh, but it was so well worth it. We have received some flowers and gifts and everything is so lovely, thank you to everyone!

moving right along

2009-08-31T17:18:00.001-07:00

What a day. And I mean sheesh, today was an emotional pregnancy hormone roller-coaster.

I woke up after having a surprisingly very restful night's sleep at 7:30. I quickly (it wasn't a pretty picture) ate an english muffin, banana and apple sauce because I have been waking up very hungry lately. I really work up an appetite growing a baby.

...Which brings me to my first meltdown of the day... baby wasn't moving. Usually when I eat she gets active, gets the hiccups and then kicks me for a while. This morning that did not happen. So I took to some motherly prodding... nothing. I then drank juice and laid down a while... sat in a position that usually makes her squirm, and finally (why does it always come as a "finally?") I went into her room and sat in the glider and prayed and cried my heart out. Afterwards she gave a few pathetic kicks, but it was enough to let me know she was still ok in there.

Then Doc called.

I had called on Friday to ask if I could still go swimming but she had already left. So this morning Doc called me back to talk to me about my activity level. It was all I could do to sound composed after my hearty meltdown, and I asked if she had a minute to talk to me about a few things, and about my trip to L&D last week. She listened patiently and then asked me to come down to the office. So at 11:30 I go in. Millie scored an 8 out of 8 on the health check test the doc did, but I didn't make out so well: she said I have a slight yeast infection, but it wasn't a big deal. I also am now dilated to a full cm (before it was just a "fingertip") and I am effaced 75%. Doc says I am moving right along. She then said she wanted me to go over to General Hospital for a non-stress-test just to double check baby, mostly for mama's piece of mind. So, off to the hospital I go, crying the whole way (emotions, you know).

When I got there the nurse said they would just hook me up for 30 minutes and monitor the baby, then I could go. After 30 minutes though they weren't happy (again) with how much Millie was moving. So I got watched some more. Meanwhile, my contraction start... and don't want to stop. The nurse said that the baby was fine, but now my contractions needed to be more spaced out before I could leave. I was instructed to drink a quart of water and I was able to order lunch (I hadn't eaten since breakfast!). My good friend Adina who works in the hospital came and ate with me for a little while, it was nice to have some company. Finally my contractions slowed down enough and they let me go.

After a short visit with my doula :) I had to go in to get my braces adjusted... they put on a new thing to close the space they made when they moved some teeth around. Now I hurt.

Then it was Walgreens, Wal-Mart and finally home, to toilet and Tylenol. Now I've taken up refuge on the sofa waiting for the Tylenol to start working and Todd to come home and comfort me... I need some snuggle time after my day.

a trip to L&D

2009-08-27T15:27:00.000-07:00

Well, I am home, I spent nearly 3 hours in Labor and Delivery at the hospital. I went in because of all the contractions (see next post). All turned out well. Here's what happened:

Braxton Hicks contractions started about 10:30, by about 12 I decided something had to change or else I was going to go insane. So, I go in. The way to the hospital, 2 big contractions that I can tell (mind you it's only a 10 minute drive).

So I get into L&D and they hook me up. Not only do the contractions immediately stop, but Millie isn't moving at all and the nurse is a little concerned. Her heartrate is great, but movement is poor. So I lay there for a good hour before she begins to move, and then she bounces off the wall. Meanwhile, the nurse has called the doctor because my urine indicated a UTI, and she wanted me to take antibiotics. He's in a c-section and it's another hour before he calls the nurse. They let me eat (the hospital has order-up dining, sooo good!) and by the time I was done the doc had called back and said that the levels in my urine weren't high enough to warrant antibiotics.

So, I got sent home with a sleeping pill/muscle relaxer... at one point the nurse looks at me and says, "you haven't been getting a lot of sleep, have you?" LOL!

dropping the baby

2009-08-27T10:20:00.000-07:00

If you have ever heard the phrase "the baby dropped" in context of pregnancy and, like, didn't really know what that meant, I will tell you...

Imagine, if you would, that you had a watermelon between your legs. And when you walk, it feels as if it's going to fall to the ground with every step you take. And when you sit, you can still feel it, just waiting to fall. But it never comes out. It just stays in a constant state of utterly uncomfortable.

Now imagine that you are very, very tired. And you can't sleep for more than an hour at a time because you have to pee every hour, no matter how many times you go before you get into bed. So, you're getting up every hour, the baby feels like it's gonna fall out, and now, when you get back into bed, your back and hips have decided to rebel against you, and thus send sharp jarring pain up to your brain, who in turn tells you that it's better to be up all night than to be in THIS MUCH pain...

One more thing, if you will. Now you get to imagine what it's like spending hours of your day, every day, having contractions and trying to make them stop. They start out as a little twinge on the top of that basketball you are hiding under your shirt. Without much thought, you begin to rub the sore spot on your tummy. After about 20 minutes you finally realize that this pain, which feels like someone has stuck a knife, about the size of a small swiss army knife, into your tummy and is slowly twisting it, is not going away. So you refill your glass of water and drink it down, of course now you have to pee again, but the contractions still come. So you try walking around the house, but then the watermelon feels like it's going to fall out. So, you lay down in bed only to remember that the only reason you're even up at 4am in the first place is that bed=pain.

Welcome to week 35 of pregnancy.

contraction stopper

2009-08-25T17:03:00.000-07:00

My pregnant belly at 34.5 weeks

I am spending more and more hours of my day focusing on stopping my contractions. They are only Braxton Hicks contractions, but painful and increasingly more annoying. When I say I have contractions, I don't mean that I get a little twinge of something every so often... for me it is one big long contraction that seems to go on for a looong time, today I had it for an hour. Often I have one all night long.

I have a little list of things from my doctor's office to do to get them to stop.

1. Warm bath

2. Tylenol

3. 1 quart of water all at once

4. 1 hour of napping

#5 on the list is to go to the hospital to be hooked up to the monitor to see what's going on. Yesterday and today I've almost made it to #5... I'm just scared to be put on bed rest!

My poor little one is already squished in there, and now my uterus is contracting on top of being squished. Lame.

Ex-Camping Trip

2009-08-22T09:38:00.000-07:00

For weeks now Cassie has been telling me that she is planning for us to go on a camping trip. I will admit that I was getting excited. Thursday night I dug out all my camping gear including ax, shovel, bucket, and bug spray. Then headed off to Walmart to get some other essentials, fishing lures. (I'm taking up fishing, to practice, so we can eat in the Kiribati) Yesterday I called Cassie from work to tell her that I was coming home now and asked if she needed anything from that end of town. The response I got when she picked up the phone immediately told me that we were not going camping. I thought that we might actually be going to the hospital. It sounded like she was lifting bails of hay in to the back of a truck. It turns out she was doing something that I imagine is harder, moving a baby around to keep her from pinching nerves.

When I got home she was making a list of food that we should take with us. She had every pillow in the house crammed in under her, in precise locations, like a bird making a nest with sticks, and she was still trying to get comfortable. I told her that the camping trip was off. She looked at me like I just told her that she was weenie. She replied, No we are going so you don't think I am a pansy. It was last night when we went to bed she thanked me for not making her go camping.

Knowing what I know about her there is nothing pansy about my wife except her beauty.

hard labor

2009-08-22T09:35:00.000-07:00

Things that used to be commonplace in my life have now become so laborious that I cringe at the though of doing them. Take for instance painting my toenails. I used to love giving my toes a nice pedi. This week I tried just to paint over the old polish, and I feared after about 3 toes that it was going to put me in labor. Then my dilemma becomes whether or not to walk around with a job half done or not, in this case with 3 pink toenails and 7 chipped gold ones. Well, I suffered through and got them all painted, I can't tell you how good a job I did, cause I can't really see them. Oh the things we pregnant women put ourselves through.

adventures and hugs

2009-08-14T20:47:00.000-07:00

I am having a baby in 6 1/2 weeks. That's 47 days. Of course that's only an estimate, the real babyday can come in 2 1/2 weeks for all I know... or take 8 1/2 weeks (can we all pray the latter doesn't happen?). Man oh man, I can't wait to hold this little girl in my arms and kiss her little forehead and hear her little cry. That will be a very good day.

This week has absolutely flown by. Even working my meager 10 hours a week it seems that there's just not enough time... or perhaps in my case not enough energy. I've noticed a serious decrease in my stamina. I want to lay on my sofa and eat ice cream and nap. All day. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe just a pregnant person.

Well, I have had adventures in Skyping this week. Which led to my discovery and love of ichat, which is far better than Skype. I have mastered the art of video chat and love it. My darling almost 7 month old friend gave me a virtual hug, which made me miss him, and his mama, all the more. Technology is a good thing.

Well, as I write my fingers are starting to get lazy and no longer want to find the right letter. Instead the bounce on whichever key is closest to them, which unfortunately for me is not coherent. That means it's bed time. I can take a hint. Even from my sleepy fingers.

making room for baby

2009-08-09T11:58:00.000-07:00

I'm working on the baby room right now. Well, not RIGHT now, as I am blogging at the moment. I'm trying to think of how I want the room set up. So I'm picturing it from the comfort of the glider. :) There is no crib or changing table yet. But plenty of other stuff. Since people keep asking what I still need, and I'm looking around at all this baby funness, I'll make a short list:

-Baby soap/lotions/whatever other toiletries babies need that I don't know about yet. :)

-bottles

-baby wipes

-wipe warmer

-baby bouncy chair (one that I can just strap her in and can be moved all around the house)

-different size cloth diaper covers

-"Snappy" diaper fastener (I will not use diaper pins...)

I need a mom to come over and tell me what else I need. :) I guess if I don't know I need it I won't miss it... whatever 'it' may be. I am, I believe, good on diapers but need a "snappy" and the plastic covers. I've decided to use pre-folds and the few Bum Genius ones I have until she fits into the great stash Nalani and Chad gave us (most are 22 lbs and larger).

Yay for baby preparations! I can't wait to have her room all ready (this is going to take longer that I thought it might). I can't wait to meet her. :)

my very own

2009-08-05T21:32:00.000-07:00

I now have internet in my very own house. Well, the house isn't mine, but the internet sure is! Yay!!!

hang-gliding

2009-08-03T08:19:00.000-07:00

Todd and Chad took their first hang-gliding lesson at a Pacific City beach on Sunday. They had a blast but got tired!

They spent a few hours doing ground lessons before they even set the thing up, then they spent about 2 hours working with it on flat ground. They had to run down the beach with it on their shoulders. It was kinda like boot camp!

Finally Chad was first to get some air!

Todd taking off. The hill looked much higher from the top! They were only allowed to go as high as their skill would allow. They didn't get very high. LOL

Chad in the air again.

Tommy had fun running around.

JJ "walking" with Grandma and Grandpa.

Happy boy running on the beach!

Auntie stop taking pictures of me!

The dinosaur walk.

Chad and Nalani after hang-gliding.

Parents-to-be.

Showing of the belly.

On the top of the hill, Chad landing the hang-glider behind me.

catching up

2009-07-30T10:38:00.001-07:00

You know you’re pregnant when you stop at a stop sign and wait for the light to turn. I’m so glad there was no one behind me…

I am still mostly offline. I suppose it’s good for me, but I’m ready to have internet in my own house again. I think Wednesday we will get connected.

In the past two weeks, we have moved. I miss my old house and neighborhood (although not the parking), but am adjusting to our new place. I’m not used to having apartments above and below me (we rent the main house) but other than that it’s a very nice place. Unpacking will happen eventually, but for now the front room looks like an overgrown box jungle.

Todd got my car running again, he fixed the transmission, and then it ran rough one night, so he’s been driving it to monitor it, but it’s been running great. I’ve been driving his hunk-of-junk that he loves so much. J

Baby Amelia is doing very well. I went in to get checked for a UTI after a few strange symptoms (I won’t go into details) and mama and baby are just fine. She scored 8 out of 8 on the prenatal scan thing they do. She is head down and ready to go… we keep telling her to wait a few more weeks at least though. I’m due 2 months from today! I’m so impatient to hold her in my arms that I would be thrilled if she came now – if she was ready. Until she’s ready though, I’m happy to dream about her.

I’ve been feeling so blessed lately. We don’t have much, but it’s just enough. I can’t wait to be a mama and I can’t wait to see Todd finally be able to hold her and look in her eyes and be the best papa ever. He is so excited too, which makes my heart just sing. Having my car running again is great too, especially because I would hate to be walking around 7 months pregnant in 100-degree heat! I’m thankful for my little aircon and radio. J

Well, today is the last day of my last class at WW. I have a month to finish up an independent study thing I am doing and then I am a university graduate. It seems strange that I won’t be a student anymore. I’ve been one for so long. But, I’m ready to trade in being a student for being a mama. Then I’ll have a whole new world to learn. J

Do you ever...

2009-07-13T08:57:00.000-07:00

Do you ever think about leaving the city you live in - town (or village) in my case - to move to a new town, just for something new? I'd like to live on the east coast for a while. I've never even seen it, wouldn't that be an adventure?

Saturday Adventures

2009-07-12T08:58:00.000-07:00

This is the start of the trail, and our adventure... Todd was the pack mule for the picnic supplies. Since we don't have a proper picnic basket, he packed the cooler.

After we ate our yummy sandwiches, Todd pulled out the nice cherries we had, courtesy of the Davises. :) Todd was spitting his seeds, and when I tried, well, they just kind of fell out of my mouth...

So he taught me how to spit them. I got pretty good! If you look closely you can see not only the projectile seed, but also the accompanying spit. It was great times.

I'm not sure how I feel about spitting. So unladylike.

Here I am at the bathroom... I spent a lot of time here. And used a lot of sanitizer...

Todd decided to hop in for a swim. Then he felt the water. He stood there for a long time with that look on his face. I thought he might be frozen, but he jumped in eventually.

On the way home we stopped and looked at the view point. It was nice, but these flowers were pretty. :)

So, that was our adventure. It was a nice way to spend a Saturday afternoon. When we came back down into the valley it was wicked hot, but for some reason it was pretty cool in our house. I napped. It was nice.

Well, I just looked at the clock and see that it's time for me to get ready. A friend and I are hitting the yard sales this morning. I really need a chest of drawers for Millie. And a Jeep. Wish me luck!

4 a.m.

2009-07-08T04:33:00.000-07:00

Todd gives our nephews a bath on the 4th

4 a.m. is the hour in which I finally gave up and got up. Oh no, I was sleeping just fine, that was the problem... I had 3 dreams in a row that there was an intruder in our house. I kept waking up all freaked out. And then I'd fall back asleep and dream it again. So, I thought I'd get up for a while and distract my mind. But guess what I'm thinking about? Sigh...

Oldest nephew... such a cutie!

I saw a specialist doctor on Friday. Everything with the tumor in my breast is just fine, in fact I never had a tumor and it turned out to be hormones all along. Slightly frustrating to hear after having a (pointless) surgery on my right breast to remove the (nonexistent) tumor. But, I'm healthy and so is baby and that's all that really matters, I guess. And don't tell me to sue the guy cause that is ridiculous and I'm sick of hearing that. I'm not going to sue anyone. (small vent, sorry).

Lavender farm on our anniversary (6 years!)

I interviewed for a job yesterday (a real-live grown up job). I think going back to college late and just now graduating has messed with my mind a little bit. I'm going to be 30 in a couple of years, and yet I feel like a kid just out of college. They asked me if I was intimidated by teenagers (the job was at a high school) and I was confused at the question at first until I remembered, oh yeah, I'm not a teenager anymore. Sometimes I forget I've grown up.

My friend Nat and I compare bellies. We're due the same day!

I am 28 weeks pregnant now. I hope that I have this baby in 10 weeks. :) I'm way too impatient to meet her to wait 40 weeks, but who knows. I have had this feeling that she will come late, but her papa insists that she will be early. We should make a bet. LOL.

Todd and a friend get ready to go up in the power parachute.

We move into our new house in 1 week. I'm excited to set up the baby room, finally. We're (meaning me) are having a yard sale next Sunday at the old house. I'm really hoping to get rid of lots and lots of things. I'm sick of things. I don't want to have things anymore. My dear husband isn't as ready as I am to start parenthood clutter-free. :)

Well, it is now nearly 5. The sky is getting lighter and the sun is glowing orange on the horizon. I love the sunrise. I had planned, at 4, to go back to bed, but now I think I'll stay up and take a nap in the afternoon to make up for my missing hours of sleep.

surgery stories

2009-06-25T09:47:00.001-07:00

I forgot to mention in my last post that I had surgery on Thursday, a week ago now. It went very well and the baby was just fine. I met with the surgeon yesterday and the biopsy report was... a little surprising.

Report: no cancer (yay!) but (and here's the surprise) no tumor either. The surgeon was very apologetic about missing it, but at least we know now that it's not breast cancer. He said he found what he though felt like the tumor, but it turned out to be a fibrous piece of tissue. So, the tumor is still in there.

Stand by for updates, I see the doc again in 2 weeks and we'll know what's going to happen at that point.

What a blessing to not have to worry about cancer!

What I'm drinking

2009-06-25T09:32:00.000-07:00

I feel like I never write on my blog anymore. So sad. For those who have been reading a while, you know I used to write on my old blog much more often. Ah, the winds of change.

This morning my day began with a lemon flavored glucose syrup drink. While it was not pleasant, it wasn't anything too bad. An hour later I was at the clinic getting my blood drawn, being checked for gestational diabetes. Then home, breakfast, and some kitchen cleaning. Now as I sit on my sofa before heading off to class, my little one is having a wiggle fest in my tummy, something that usually going on.

Drinking my concoction this morning it reminded me of taking shots of drinks that warmed my throat and stomach so many years ago. I didn't enjoy the feeling of this stuff sitting in my stomach this morning, and remembered not liking the feeling of the alcohol either. It made me wonder why I used to drink the stuff, and for that I don't have an answer other than for my image. What a lame reason.

My day will continue much the same, at 3 we go in for our 28-week ultrasound even though I am only 26-weeks. This is because I'm taking on the family legacy of making little babies. With my mom's first the delivery nurses didn't even think she was pregnant! At least I have a little something to show. But, making sure Millie is doing well all the same, although with this much movement I can tell you she feels like she's doing ok. :)

Having the US means that by 2 I need to have had an entire nalgine of water and NO potty breaks... this is probably the hardest part of pregnancy for me. I need my potty breaks.

We paid a deposit on our new house this week, we will move in on July 15th. I'm happy with our decision and can't wait to move in - and have a big yardsale before we do. If anyone has anything they need to get rid of, give it to me and I'll sell it.

Well, I'm off to my summer class, which I throughly enjoy. It's a Bible class but without all the busy work. It's great. I'm learning much, and I love to learn much. :D

some photos

2009-06-18T07:51:00.001-07:00

Me and my good friend Stephen

Jason, me, Alex

My good friend Jason

With the Hartmans. Note I don't look pregnant from the front!

Matthew and Erin, Me and Todd

Me and Dr. D. Love this man. :)

Me and Todd... love this man even more =D

Fat belly (I ate a bowl of ice cream, and then another one for Millie...)

what's missing

2009-06-18T07:23:00.000-07:00

Graduation morning

Ok, ok. I keep getting razzed about not updating my blog. I know, I know, it's not like me. Here's the story, which by the way I am telling you while moving a glass of water out of my reach because I can't eat or drink anything, even water, this morning. Here is goes...

3 Weeks ago: I had a doctor's appointment. I asked, among my monthly barrage of questions, about leaking colostrum, which started at about 20 weeks (it's very common to begin leaking so early). I also mentioned that for about 3 days prior to my appointment it was coming out a little reddish on one side.

2 Weeks ago: I went in for an ultrasound, galactocgram and mammogram. They tested my 'red stuff' and found that it was blood coming out. The ultrasound showed the boobs of a pregnant women who is ready and rearing to go breastfeeding wise. Nothing strange there. The galactogram, which is, for those of you who don't know, where they stick a tube down your nipple and inject dye into your boob. I never would have imagined that was possible, but it's about as fun as you can imagine... So then I got 2 mammos. The first was deeper and didn't show anything, the second was a shallow one, and showed the little tumor that was causing the problem of the bleeding.

1 Week ago: we met with the surgeon, who said that if we're going to take it out, we have to do it now before I go into my third trimester. The second trimester (which I have 3 more weeks of) is safest for surgery, during the first there are risks of deformities to the baby and during the third there is the risk of preterm labor, but in the second the baby is not at risk (from anesthesia). He scheduled me for this morning.

Today: so here I sit... ready to have thing thing removed in about two hours. They are removing a small wedge shape from my right breast, which should be healed and not interfere with breastfeeding by the time Millie comes. After it's out, they'll send it to a lab in town to biospy it. There is about a 99% chance that it is a benign papaloma, which is just a mass of tissue that decided it was going to bleed. If it stayed in me it might not always bleed, but would always be there and randomly bleed. It's best not to be feeding my baby blood though, so even if it's only that it needs to be removed. There is 1% that it's a cancerous tumor. If that is the case, which we really aren't talking about yet, I'll be going to Seattle for treatment. I think that it will have been caught early if it is cancer. I'm not sure how or when I would be treated and if I could do it while pregnant. Hopefully those are questions I never have to find an answer for...

Meanwhile: I graduated, well, I walked at least. I have 10 credits to finish this summer, then I get my diploma. Final exams and finishing projects was a mite difficult with this thing hanging over me, but I made it through with a 3.7 for the term.

My graduating group: Mass Communications BS

A Moment of Silence

2009-06-01T22:28:00.000-07:00

In this quite and sacred moment I pause in reverence. There comes a time in one's life when one must sit back and realize that there are things at work in the universe large than can be comprehended. And then there's the time to sing and shout for submitting one's final senior research paper. This is such a time. =D

Before I am overcome by the crash that comes just after the euphoric moment of turning in a year-long project, I pause to share. Friday I presented (with much disheartening disinterest on behalf of my instructors) my senior project. Tomorrow I present my senior research, hopefully presenting in the morning will help rouse my instructors. These two events are the culminating moments in my earning a college degree. My third, yes, but my first BS. I have said it before, and will sing it again: I am smart.

To finish out the term I have one more paper, a project and two presentations. A short summer session of straggling required classes and I am forever done with college - at least for a while.

I leave you with this good thought thought (well, it's good for me) tonight and retreat to the comfort and peace of my bed.

Pray for Jeremy

2009-06-01T08:03:00.000-07:00

One of my very good friends called me yesterday to tell me his brother was in a motorcycle accident. It's pretty serious. I am so sad for Stephen and his family, and am praying for them. Please also keep Jeremy in your prayers, you can read about his accident here: updatejeremy.blogspot.com Very sad.

I'll update later. Must get ready as I have been slacking this morning.

Meeting the Kiribati

2009-05-31T09:19:00.000-07:00

My Kiribati video, minus graphics:

Kiribati Mini Doc (w/o graphics) from Cas Anderson on Vimeo.

21 weeks

2009-05-22T17:27:00.000-07:00

Some 21 week belliness for you. Enjoy.

Things I got done today:

Filming

Work

Class

Washed car

Took walk

Things left to do:

Eat supper

Soak in tub

Eat ice cream

My Millie

2009-05-20T18:10:00.000-07:00

I've gone off the paved trail...

Something really cool has happened... are you ready? I'M HAVING A BABY!!! Ok, ok, I know what you're thinking ("where have you been?!") but, I'm really having a little baby. There's a little life growing in me. I made her. She's part of me.

Our pregnancy was planned - very planned (down to the day), and she is a very wanted baby. But when I got pregnant, I was like, "um, can I have a do-over?" What was I going to do with a baby?

Then I started to like the novelty of the idea of a baby. It's a great conversation starter. I run into someone I haven't seen in a while, and let them look at my belly a few dozen times before dropping in, "oh, did you know I'm pregnant?" I felt so grown up.

But now, I don't care about people knowing or worry about not being able to change a diaper (which I have nightmares about, but can actually do just fine). Something really cool has happened somewhere along the line... I fell in love with a little 10.5 inch glow worm in my tummy. I used to love my glow worm (back in about 1986). Millie isn't just a conversation starter or an automatic peeing machine, she's my daughter.

I don't know when or where I fell in love with her, but I tell you, I can sit for hours it seems and just dream of finally getting to kiss her little head.

oh, the joys

2009-05-19T17:40:00.000-07:00

Note to self,

If you leave the top down on your car, you should check the wether report and make sure it's not going to rain. Furthermore, don't park under that blasted tree that drops all those little flowers in your car.

Thanks, me.

My front room is a mountain of pink. I got some hand-me-downs and some gifts for Millie already. I washed all the pre-owned stuff, and am holding off washing the new stuff in case she's too big for the newborn sizes or something. I don't imagine she will be, but you never know.

I locked myself out of the house yesterday. The plus side is I got to sit in my hammock and rock Millie until my tall friend came and climbed into an open window.

I'm making tomato soup for supper... it's the only thing I can eat tonight. I ate ice cream for lunch. I had my braces adjusted yesterday and they were a little rough, so I'm a little sore now. I'm usually not. I wish I could have had this done as a kid. It stinks. And I'm hungry.

I remembered at about 8:30 last night that I needed to watch a movie for class today and write a paper on it... so I was up late watching the Terminator 2. Let me tell you, I had some pretty odd dreams last night. I work up and had to adjust to real life again.

Well, Millie is kicking, and I'm hungry. Time to attack my soup.

Registry complete

2009-05-17T13:03:00.000-07:00

Ok, you can quit hassling me about registering, it's all done! I'm registered with target.com and walmart.com you can find either one by looking up my email!

Addresses

2009-05-15T15:06:00.001-07:00

I forgot to backup my address book before reformatting my hard drive. Email me your address if you haven't already!

"you don't even look pregnant!"

2009-05-15T08:28:00.000-07:00

Onlookers of my pregnancy have this obsession it seems with telling me what I look like everyday, for example:

-"you don't even look pregnant today!"

-"you look REALLY pregnant today."

-"wow, baby keeping you up at night already?"

-"you look great today! I've been a little worried lately."

and so on and so forth.

Just for comparisons sake, here are a few things that have changed in the last 5 months:

(Then) (now)

-weight 118 133

-waist 25in 33in

-bra B C/D

-baby nonexistent size of a banana

-pants size 4/normal giant/need elastic mechanism

Are you happy now? See, I AM pregnant, even if sometimes I'm slouching over and my tummy doesn't stick out like a basketball. Sheesh.

Plane photos

2009-05-09T18:59:00.000-07:00

Todd needed to go check on a plane today...

Can I die yet?

2009-05-08T03:56:00.001-07:00

The last time I saw 3:30 I must have been about 19 years old... I don't want to be seeing it now.

I am sick. I can't breathe, so I blow by nose a lot, which has made my head throb, which has made me put menthol rub under my nose so I can breathe, which has made my nose run, which has made me blow it even more, which has made my nose bleed. Needless to say, I am up at 3:30 (now 4:00) because it's easier to breathe when I'm upright. But I'm so sleepy. And being in bed all day yesterday has made my hips sore. I've taken Tylenol and hope to be able to sleep soon. Uuhhggg.

Funny but True!

2009-05-07T19:38:00.000-07:00

Dear Non-Pregnant Person,

I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm.

If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice.

1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is 'Congratulations!' with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you an asshole.

2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase 'my baby'.

3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it...

4) The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5) Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight...ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is 'You look fabulous!'.

6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes.

7) There is a reason that tickets to Labor & Delivery are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. You weren't invited to be there when the baby was created, you probably won't be invited to be there when it comes out either.

8) Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents' home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to 'help out'. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

9) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

10) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

Public Display of Affection

2009-05-07T14:36:00.000-07:00

I've set my blog to private again. I guess those weirdos realized I'm not worth weirdoing over.

I have a new computer, again, finally. After ordering one and sending it back and using my old cracked one, I feel pretty dang blessed to have a working, non-cracked computer again. It's pretty.

I am sick. I babysat for a family with runny noses on Monday. By Tuesday I was feeling congested. Woke up yesterday with a sore throat, head and chest congestion and a runny nose. Today I have added a cough on top of all that. I hurt.

Being sick, I have to say, is totally worth it when I get to lie/sit in bed all day with baby Millie trying to make me feel better by massaging my insides. She's feeling more solid and is gaining strength. She'll be a tough one.

I hung out with my sister all day yesterday, I have a sneaking suspicion she'll be next to be sick. We watched Bride Wars. It was ok, but not worth seeing twice. Sissy leave Saturday. It's been a really fast 2 weeks. I hope I feel better and can hang out tomorrow.

I am having an awfully productive day I think, for being sick, I've been trying to work on homework as much as possible. That's what I need to get back to doing right now. That or napping, I'm not sure. :D

Ultrasound photos!

2009-05-02T13:16:00.000-07:00

Here are the pics from yesterday! Isn't she adorable!? :D

Maybe I'm a snitch biased.

It's a GIRL!

2009-05-01T16:42:00.000-07:00

We are thrilled! Photos to come.

Bursting

2009-04-30T17:15:00.000-07:00

I'm about to go hop in the pool - the best exercise ever - but just thought I should let the world know (I guess now it's only my faithful readers and not the whole world) that I'm about to burst. No, I've not been downing the tacos again, it's excitement. I can hardly sit still. I'm not even sitting still! Good thing I'm going to the pool! This time tomorrow I will be basking in the glow of the latest baby pictures, ones that will hopefully come with a name... a boy name or a girl name!

I didn't think finding out the gender would be this exciting. :D

I'm nearly half way done already. 22 more weeks and I will meet this wiggle worm. :)

My computer is back at Apple. They said it will take about 3 days to process and then I can order a different one. Then I'm going to throw this cracked one out a window!

My term is going splendidly. I found out that one of the classes I slack the most in I have a B- so it won't be too hard for me to slack a little less and get an A. ;) I'm all about slacking these days. I'm having a good term.

Stephanie is in town. It's weird to have a sister again. I mean here and interacting with me. We spent the day together yesterday downtown, it was a swell time.

Steph came with me to my doctor's appointment yesterday also. We got to hear a healthy little heartbeat, 156 bpm. The cutest sound in the world. :D At least mama thinks so.

We had a family supper last night and afterwards we ended up playing "props" and chaos broke out. It was a little scary. ;) My family is special.

Well, I guess that's all the update I have at the moment. If you need me I'll be doing laps. I'll post again tomorrow with a few photos... and hopefully the gender!

Sorry Guys...

2009-04-28T20:30:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the emails. This blog is no longer accessible to the public due to a recent problem with my email address getting out to spammers that have not yet made known their purpose... I don't want people googling me and reading about me.

I don't think you have to have a google account; I don't have one. I can sign in with my yahoo account. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Spring

2009-04-26T20:18:00.000-07:00

Some tulips in our yard

I'm wondering how Todd can still be working on the lawn now that it's dark out. Maybe he has bat-vision or something.

I hit the 15-pound mark today. Luckily I am still fluctuating quite a bit so in the morning it will be closer to 12 or 13. I know I'm supposed to gain weight but it's just weird to see the scale climbing up and up and...

Well, today I went to a dog show and a car show, went on 2 walks and got massively thrown up on by one baby. It was quite the eventful day. Oh, and I got my grocery shopping done for the week, contacted about 20 people for help with my research project (of which I have heard back from none) and made tacos for supper. Energy is a great thing. :)

I am sending my new computer back to Apple tomorrow after finding that this one doesn't have a firewire input. Odd. My old one did. So, I have to upgrade just a little. Don't buy a MacBook if you want a firewire input. I'll have to get a MacBook Pro. Cool to have one, but sad that I'll be without computer for about a week. Just when I thought I had it all figured out...

Well, Friday is the BIG day! It's our big ultrasound! I can't wait, I love seeing her swim around. I can't wait to see if I'm right about her being a girl or if I'll have to start calling her a boy. I will post and share!

Enjoy your week, I have a feeling it's going to be a great one!

Tummy Time

2009-04-22T18:51:00.000-07:00

My tummy at 17 weeks.

We went swimming tonight, baby loves a good swim, so does mama, I feel so light in the water! I don't think I've posted in a while, but there hasn't been anything new to post. Just school and work and a growing tummy, although it still has a long way to go. :)

Hospital Scare

2009-04-10T08:30:00.000-07:00

Yay! I don't have to go to the hospital!

The morning sickness was getting me down, fast. My Dr's office told me that if I couldn't get fluids in me myself I'd have to go in this morning. But, I just ate a bowl of cereal and a 1/2 glass of water! I'm working on drinking more. I was starting to get pretty dehydrated being so nauseated. Now I feel shaky still but much better, only a little nauseated. I'll have one more dose of Bonine and hopefully that will clear it up!

It was so funny, I woke up yesterday, and then went back to bed and slept all morning. Then I got up tried getting some work done, went to one class where I knew I only had to watch a movie and then came home and went to bed till Todd woke me up with supper. Then around 10:30 I went to bed again and slept in till 8. That's a lot of sleep!!!

Well, I'm off to face my day.

Bonine and me

2009-04-09T22:15:00.000-07:00

Here is a week ago. Still not much to see.

I have been having morning sickness again so have not been doing much to blog about.

I got a new mac today... finally. My screen is totally shot on this old one. Yay for refurbished computers! This one lasted me years and I plan on the new one lasting even longer (I bought a snap on case to go with it!). My little iBook has served me well, I will be sad to see her go (I'll send it back to Apple for recycling).

I was so nauseated today that I took some Bonine - it knocked me out. Todd woke me up with supper. Now I might be up all night. I called the dr to ask what I should take, they said if I'm sick still in the morning I have to go to the hospital and they'll hook me up to an IV cause they are worried about my fluid intake. I think I managed about 2 glasses of water today. It's not fun.

Mmmm... pregnancy.

14 Week Baby Pics!

2009-04-01T14:10:00.000-07:00

Here is our 14 week old happy and healthy and very active little one! She's doing great despite mom's worries. :) Nothing to worry about now, all is well.

My motivation... have you seen it?

2009-03-25T10:38:00.001-07:00

I seem to have lost all motivation. Today is just one of THOSE kinda days. Let me explain...

Last night I was reading up on babycenter.com when Todd said something to me. I don't remember what it was, but I set my laptop down on the bed and hopped up to administer a spanking or something, when my trusty little ibook slid off the bed and would have snapped closed but my hard drive was sitting on the keyboard and so my screen came down on the hard drive and cracked. All over.

It still works, but is difficult to see parts... I've been saying I need a new one for a while, now it really is ready to be thrown out for a new one.

Enter my car (speaking of thrown out...): I finally was able to tear myself away from the exciting threads on babycenter.com to go and pick up my hard drive (the big one, not the one that cracked my screen) which I had left at school. So, I go out to my car to get it... but something was wrong... my car wasn't this messy yesterday... and where is my stereo? A half hour later a cop was here taking a report of the stolen goods: stereo (crappy $50 Wal-Mart one), 2 door speakers (so crappy I couldn't turn said stereo up at all), my red towel (but not the blue one...), and my cute little basket (but not my knitting that was in the basket).

Really? All in all the resale value of all items is probably about $20 total. Really? Did you need a crappy car stereo that bad?

The best part is that when they took the stuff they just pulled it right out of the panels, so now the dashboard and door panels are all busted up. All so you can sell my crappy $50 Wal-Mart no-name stereo? Gee, you're pretty bright, aren't you?

So, see what I mean about it being one of THOSE kinda days? Its a good thing that a girlfriend and I are going to Tri-Cities today. I need some retail therapy. I'll find a cute little baby blanket to cheer me up. :)

Oh, and I'm supposed to be focusing now on editing video... yeah... I'm not sure I'm motivated. At all...

Early morning

2009-03-21T06:45:00.000-07:00

I got up for my 6 o'clock peeing and decided to stay up. I took a dramamine and slept the whole way to Salem, OR so I wouldn't be sitting in pain. I tried finding someone online to play with, like a sister or a mom, but alas, there is no one to be found.

Hip is already starting to feel better. I made it through 2 nights now, and the second night was much easier than the first. I can walk now without assistance.

I'm going to go see if Todd's ready to get up and play...

pain and suffering

2009-03-19T19:20:00.000-07:00

My facebook status today: cas was involved in a stabbing and was at St. Mary's all morning. Too bad it was the dr that stabbed me! In a few days I'll be able to waltz with Matilda!

Too bad no one got the MASH reference.

I began cortisone injections this morning. After several needles and a few cringes, I hobbled out. Now the numbing meds have worn off and I am in agony. This is what I do to myself... but in two or three days I really will be walking again, hopefully this time pain free. I hurt. I want to sit and whimper. I really, really, really want a hot bath... but no hot bath for pregnant gals.

Sigh...

UPDATE: The next day...

Last night was the night from hell. Once the numbing meds wore off it kept hurting more and more. Finally I couldn't even climb into bed and had to sleep on the sofa. I cried and it woke Todd up and he went and got me Tylenol from Wal-Mart, the only thing I can take, and I was able to sleep for about an hour. Before the tylenol it felt like someone swung a baseball bat as hard as they could into my hip. Now it just feels like it was a medium-strength hit... It hurts to sit or walk, and we are making the 5 hours drive to Salem today, so I'll take dramamine and lay in the back seat... this sucks. I will never - I hope - get another cortisone injection unless I can take the pain killers to go with it.

Breaking for Spring... :)

2009-03-19T09:35:00.000-07:00

I am enjoying the last spring break of my life. In a few, short months I will be a college graduate (finally), an even more expectant mama, and shortly thereafter, I'll be a real-live mama. Oh Lord.

The ways that pregnancy has effected me continue to surprise me. Something that would normally be huge, huge deals to me are now passed off with a smile and a shrug. Other things that I normally wouldn't give a second thought to are the details that make up my day. It's just a little ball of cells what's the big deal?...

I met with the community health coordinator (or whatever her title is) yesterday and she was very nice. She talked about how I need to bond with my little ball of cells that she called my baby. Baby... such a strange thing... I giggled, I'll admit it, when she suggested reading and singing out loud to her. (Yes, I still call her a her... until I see otherwise) It seems so unnatural... yet so natural.

Is there really life in my belly? That will hear my voice as I read and sing to her? And she'll recognize it when she's born? I hear people call life a miracle, but when its growing in me... miracle doesn't seem like a big enough word. We need to invent a word for a super special miracle. That's what I have.

Among the plethora of advice, the best yet has been that all of a sudden everyone will become pregnancy and baby experts, and everyone will have advice. Listen to it and then tuck it away but then forget about it. :) I am learning there is some truth to this. But then again, it's just more advice and I'll tuck it away...

I seem to be growing at an alarming rate. Not the baby, just me... I eat, and eat, and... eat. By the end of the day I've doubled in size and need to be rolled to bed. OK, a slight exaggeration, but food... so good... must be chewing at all times... I'm a little porker these days. I've never seen my scale fluctuate so much, it used to be that no matter what I weighed 118. Now, it will say 122... 124... 126... it just keeps going! But then it will go back down to 123.

Well, thanks for tuning in to week 12 of pregnancy. As always, there will be more to come...

Baby Bump

2009-03-15T17:50:00.001-07:00

Well... Here you are... a little bump in the tummy. This is our 11.5 week photo. If you think this isn't much, compare it to our first belly pic (only ignore my funny face):
See... I'm growing. It's slightly frightening. Here I am at 4 weeks and flat tummy.

I have now gained 6.5lbs which is amazing to me because she's hardly larger than a big marble or something. I can no longer sit and perch my computer on my tummy, the pressure is too much - and it makes me have to pee even more. So I'm trying to find a way to adjust.

Finals are this week. I hope to get more blogging done when they're over (Wednesday at 10!) Wish me luck!

Thinking Girly Thoughts

2009-03-10T11:25:00.000-07:00

From day one I've said it felt like a girl...

I've decided I do want a little girl. :)